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Doctor: “You have diabetes”

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

Patient: “Yeah, it runs in my family” Doctor: “No, nobody runs in your family” Joke Poo: Gardener’s Dilemma Gardener: "My tomatoes are thriving, must be good soil!" Botanist: "No, it’s probably just…

A Pharoah asks his three priests to build him a tomb.

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

Each priest consults three stonemasons. Each stonemason hires three overseers. Each overseer enlists three laborers. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me… Joke Poo: A CEO asks his three VPs to implement…

Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat. So you see…

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

….. the oily bird gets the warm! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your penguin joke: Title: Joke Poo – The Worm Turns Earthworms are vital for soil health because they…

A Man Is Up In Court, Charged With Assaulting His Best Friend With A Hammer

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

As the judge reads out the details of the case, a voice from the back of the court shouts out ‘You lousy bastard!’ The judge calls for order and goes on to…

Started dating a girl I met online. I thought she might be the one.

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

But after looking through her wardrobe, and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided – if she can't hold down a job, she's…

A Scotsman Walks Into A Bar While On Holiday In Canada

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

And he says to the barman ‘What is that thing there that you’ve got hanging from the wall?’ And the Canadian behind the bar says ‘That right there sir, is our prized…

A man with two black eyes walks into a bar

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

And asks the bartender for a strong drink. As he's making the drink, the bartender asks the man what happened. "It was my wife's birthday yesterday, and I told her I bought…

You want to know how I know Astrology is all made up?

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Twins. Most of them aren't even Gemini. Joke Poo: Title: Joke Poo: The Recycling Bin of Expertise You want to know how I know that "Life Coaches" are full of it? Divorcees….

Do I know anything about rhetorical questions?

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Well, does a bear shit in the woods? Joke Poo: Title: Do I Know About Dog Grooming? Do I know anything about dog grooming? Well, does a poodle shed glitter? Alright, let’s…

When does a joke become a dad joke?

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

When it’s fully groan Joke Poo: Original Joke: When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s fully groan. New Joke: When does a toilet become a comedian? Answer: When it’s…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.
  • A tourist goes to a restaurant in Madrid and orders the special. When it comes, he asks what it is.
  • What do orgasms and sneezing have in common?
  • A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.
  • It’s early fall, Joe is out raking leaves…
  • I said to my wife, “Sit down, I’ve got something to tell you.”
  • A British Police Officer Is Walking Along Side an American Officer When They Spot An 18-Year-Old Casually Resting on Heavy Duty Sniper Rifle, Sipping A Beer in the Front Yard.
  • A cowboy rode into town and decided to stop by the local saloon for a drink.
  • I watched a porno flick about a sex competition, and couldn’t decide who I wanted to win.
  • What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
  • I said to my therapist “I’ve been feeling ultra paranoid lately”
  • The Butcher Dance
  • Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
  • A teacher and his engineering students were given free plane tickets to go on a field trip.
  • “55 northern 9th” the guy was told, “best blowjob ever.” So he goes there.
  • My girlfriend phoned me on her way to work and said to me “I saw a fox on the way to work”
  • Guy walks in to the E.R and says: “Doctor I’m shrinking!”
  • A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.
  • The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer
  • One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.
  • A woman asks her husband at breakfast time!
  • I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.
  • You know you’re getting old when…
  • Men lie about their height all the way through their lives; from their twenties…
  • What does it mean if a guy can remember a girls eye color after a first date?
  • What do you call somebody who’s into fast cars but questioning their sexuality?
  • It must been the bagel – short joke
  • Job Interview
  • A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated.
  • Have you heard the joke about gaslighting?
  • I bought myself a year long subscription to a gym but I do not see any improvement
  • A blonde woman was driving along the highway!
  • Single vulture dad problems
  • A man in his fifties visits the doctor.
  • Two old ladies were sitting at a bus stop in the pouring rain, trying to smoke a cigarette.
  • Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.
  • Cop: “We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at all.
  • A wealthy, old-fashioned, Southern family lives near a new army base.
  • Mom, how did we get rich?
  • I told my girlfriend I was leaving her.

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