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When I woke up this morning, my wife was cooking breakfast in nothing but a T-shirt…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she saw me, she said she needed me to have sex with her right now. I was surprised but happy to oblige. After I asked what that was all about. She…

The son of a Texas oilman

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

falls in love with a high-society girl from Boston, and after a short time, proposes marriage. As the oilman meets the girl's mother for the first time, it's obvious she's unimpressed. As…

A man was sitting at the bar looking dejectedly into his bottle of beer.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

“You look pretty down,” said the guy on the next stool. “Wanna talk about it?” “I dunno,” sighed the first man. “It’s just that this time last year I had a fantastic…

Did you know Albert Einstein was a real person? (2nd punchline OC)

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I only just found out. I always thought he was just a "theoretical physicist". But nah, turns out he was a genuine maths debator Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo"…

Postman goes to his doctor…

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"so Doctor what's the prognosis?" "Do, you want the good, or bad news?" "Bad" "You have only six months to live" "What's the good!!?" "You've got A job for life." Joke Poo:…

I have a hymen joke.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

It’s tearable. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," riffing on the original: Joke Poo: The Compost Conundrum I have a composting joke. It’s re-cycle-able. Okay, let’s break down this joke…

Dear British redditors, what’s the difference between the dollar and the pound?

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I didn’t take your mom to dollar town. Okay, here’s my attempt, playing off the original joke’s format and delivery: Joke Poo: Dear NASA Scientists Dear NASA scientists, what’s the difference between…

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because he can. Because he can't make a fist. Joke Poo: Original Joke: Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can’t make a fist. Joke Poo: Why does a politician…

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 19 y/o daughter.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the…

I was bored yesterday so….

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I looked up the numbers to local Best Western Hotels. I would call them and when they answered “Best Western” I’d say….”True Grit with John Wayne” and hang up. Joke Poo: Call…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.
  • A tourist goes to a restaurant in Madrid and orders the special. When it comes, he asks what it is.
  • What do orgasms and sneezing have in common?
  • A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.
  • It’s early fall, Joe is out raking leaves…
  • I said to my wife, “Sit down, I’ve got something to tell you.”
  • A British Police Officer Is Walking Along Side an American Officer When They Spot An 18-Year-Old Casually Resting on Heavy Duty Sniper Rifle, Sipping A Beer in the Front Yard.
  • A cowboy rode into town and decided to stop by the local saloon for a drink.
  • I watched a porno flick about a sex competition, and couldn’t decide who I wanted to win.
  • What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
  • I said to my therapist “I’ve been feeling ultra paranoid lately”
  • The Butcher Dance
  • Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
  • A teacher and his engineering students were given free plane tickets to go on a field trip.
  • “55 northern 9th” the guy was told, “best blowjob ever.” So he goes there.
  • My girlfriend phoned me on her way to work and said to me “I saw a fox on the way to work”
  • Guy walks in to the E.R and says: “Doctor I’m shrinking!”
  • A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.
  • The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer
  • One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.
  • A woman asks her husband at breakfast time!
  • I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.
  • You know you’re getting old when…
  • Men lie about their height all the way through their lives; from their twenties…
  • What does it mean if a guy can remember a girls eye color after a first date?
  • What do you call somebody who’s into fast cars but questioning their sexuality?
  • It must been the bagel – short joke
  • Job Interview
  • A woman with a passion for gardening was growing increasingly frustrated.
  • Have you heard the joke about gaslighting?
  • I bought myself a year long subscription to a gym but I do not see any improvement
  • A blonde woman was driving along the highway!
  • Single vulture dad problems
  • A man in his fifties visits the doctor.
  • Two old ladies were sitting at a bus stop in the pouring rain, trying to smoke a cigarette.
  • Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen were sitting in a sauna only covered by a towel.
  • Cop: “We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at all.
  • A wealthy, old-fashioned, Southern family lives near a new army base.
  • Mom, how did we get rich?
  • I told my girlfriend I was leaving her.
  • The chairman of a big company found his car wouldn’t start, so he called the car pool
  • My Swedish car broke down today.
  • 2 Economists are walking down country side
  • My grandma told me the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  • You really got to hand it to short people.
  • Someone stole my car, but left an old cellphone behind.
  • Yesterday my internet was down. I noticed a woman sitting on my sofa
  • A man tells his doctor …
  • My doctor is amazed by my level of fitness.
  • A young mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

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