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A first-grade teacher asks her class, “Who can tell me the best way to carry two watermelons?”

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Johnny immediately waves his hand, but the teacher calls on a girl named Suzy instead. Suzy says, "You carry one in each arm!" "Very good, Suzy!" the teacher says. "Now, who…

A new teacher, on his first day, noticed that the other children were teasing one boy, calling him “Mikey the Moron.”

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A new teacher, on his first day, noticed that the other children were teasing one boy, calling him "Mikey the Moron." During recess, the teacher asked the kids why they called him…

Did you hear about the new help group for over-talkers?

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's called 'On And On Anon' Joke Poo: Did you hear about the new support group for people obsessed with perfectly clean kitchens? It’s called “Spotless Anonymous, and it’s surprisingly…spotless.” Alright, let’s…

Asking for money.

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

(Fixed a minor typo) I asked my dad, "Hey dad could you lend me $50 for gas while I look for a job?" He asked, "Don't you have a job?" I replied,…

A Long one..

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Guy goes into a bar, gets a beer, sits at a table. Place is quiet, just a drunken old guy on a stool at the end of the bar. A few seconds…

Nailed the interview… kinda

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Interviewer: Introduce yourself. Interviewee: My father’s name is Laughing, my mother’s name is Smiling… Interviewer: Are you kidding? Interviewee: No, he’s my cousin. I’m Joking! Joke Poo: Applied for the Job… Fecesly…

What do you call it when a rocket scientist uses an outhouse in the middle of winter?

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

An ICBM Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of that joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: What do you call it when a botanist uses fertilizer after a long, hard day…

So Yeshiva University has a rowing team, and every meet they come in dead last. Meet after meet, they always come in last.

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

So they decide to send a spy to Harvard to see how their team trains. The spy returns from Harvard and the entire team gathers around to hear the report. "Well," the…

How are masturbation and brain damage similar?

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

With both, once you are a few strokes in, there’s no going back. Joke Poo: How are writing a novel and eating a really spicy chili similar? With both, once you’re a…

My wife said we need to cut back our travel spending

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

So I went on vacation without her and saved 50%. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your travel spending joke: Title: Diaper Duty Dilemma My husband complained about…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A wealthy man walks into a bank New York City and asks for the loan officer.
  • Why is the outcome of a custard pie fight so unpredictable?
  • They call me a fireman.
  • What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
  • Other question jokes besides this 2
  • Two Germans in WWII are chasing two villagers.
  • How many Swiss comedians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  • The long life cowboy
  • A blonde walks into a bar.
  • Dr. Frankenstein walks into the body parts shop…
  • What did the executioner say two weeks into the job?
  • It’s the end of The Last Supper…
  • A guy was bragging to a co-worker about how hot his wife was…
  • A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl…
  • What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
  • Three fishing holy men
  • I met a woman glass blower.
  • A Pragmatic Solution
  • What do two snails do when they get in a fight?
  • A Matter of Priorities
  • My wife said she wants more romance in our marriage.
  • An IRS inspector audits a hospital’s books
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
  • I’m writing a book on reverse psychology.
  • Drill Seargent: “WHAT ARE YOU A MAN? OR A MOUSE?”
  • How does a pirate unwind after a long day of pillaging?
  • I decided to test the phrase “a watched pot never boils.” It was really boring at first.
  • “These eggs are delicious! Did you cook them in butter?”
  • My wife said “You bastard, you’re shagging that floozie from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychrwyndrobwyllllantisiliogogogoch, aren’t you?”
  • Yo momma is so fat…
  • What’s the worlds rudest texture?
  • A Medical Mystery
  • What did the blind girl say after falling into a well?
  • Why did Noah have to rush to complete his ark?
  • What do you call a deer with no eye?
  • A young man stopped at a local restaurant after a day of roaming around in Spain.
  • I was misbehaving in class one day, and was sent out of the classroom to the Headmaster’s office.
  • A man is walking along a busy harbor, looking at all the different boats. He fancies himself a bit of a nautical expert.
  • The Ski Trip
  • Me and my wife used to run this second-hand shop. Eventually we were divorced.
  • A limbo champion walks into a bar
  • A Council has edited the video of a council meeting after a member forgot to turn his camera off while going to the toilet. The authority has apologised…
  • He was a gunslinger with fourteen kids.
  • Did you know scavenger ants mark a scent trail when they find food so the colony can follow it?
  • Golfing and a Genie
  • Guy is standing at a pond’s edge with his newly adopted dog.
  • Golfers are so respectful
  • Good reads
  • A woman complained to her friend that she had a sore throat.
  • Jesus, Moses and an old guy are playing golf

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