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Why did Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head get divorced?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She caught him trying on her parts. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Why did the Plumber…

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown pagliacci is in town tonight! Go and…

Headstone problems

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

His wife having passed away a Yorkshireman went to the local monumental mason in order to acquire a suitable headstone in time for the funeral. The mason asked for suggestions regarding a…

I was selling some of my music gear online, but all the only replies I got were “visually impaired”, “loss of hearing”, “autistic”, “uses a wheelchair”, etc…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

That’s when I realized…the comments were disabled. Original Joke: I was selling some of my music gear online, but all the only replies I got were “visually impaired”, “loss of hearing”, “autistic”,…

I hated watching silent movies with my dad.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

He always had to add smell. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke: Joke Poo: I hated going to puppet shows with my grandma. She always had to pull my…

Why is the world so bad?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's only awarded one star. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: Why are the toilets at the fancy restaurant always so clean? Because they’re only given one…

Why do robots always take the subway during the week?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because it is their sub routine. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Why Do Compost Bins Get So Depressed? Why do compost…

Be careful what you offer…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man meets a prostitute in a bar. She tells him, “For £300, I’ll do absolutely anything you want — but you have to say it in just three words.” He hands…

An elderly couple in Downeast Maine are in bed one night when the old man wakes up and realizes his wife has passed away…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

So he calls up his son and says, “Son, I need you to come down and give me a hand, your mother’s gone.” The son comes over, and together they lift her…

A man is driving when he sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is driving in the early morning hours when he sees a hitchhiker at the side of the road, standing next to a suitcase, holding a bottle of rum. The driver…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • They say that if you rest one of your balls on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the ball will eventually be sucked inside.
  • I recently had to see a proctologist because I was experiencing a sharp pain in my arse
  • A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.
  • Karma is a weird name…
  • Prison break..
  • Two girls are in the farm field stealing carrots…
  • There’s a Soulja Boy concert on PBS tonight.
  • Let’s go to the zoo
  • A Geordie was so devoted to his pet dog that when it died
  • A virgin young man meets a priest
  • An old lady goes to the dentist. Sits down, drops panties, and lifts legs…
  • A married couple claimed they never argued in their 25 years of marriage.
  • A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him!
  • A woman in a supermarket watched as a grandfather struggled to control his badly behaved grandson.
  • A teenage boy was playing in his room on his computer when his grandfather came in and sat on the bed.
  • As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried “Don’t touch me! I can’t take the pain! I won’t make it! Don’t! CAN’T! WON’T!!”
  • A grandmother takes her grandson to the beach
  • My non-binary friend is pregnant and they’re having a gender reveal party next week.
  • A boy turns to his grandfather and says “I bet you $20 I can put that earthworm back in the hole it just crawled from”
  • A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight.
  • Beethoven died and they buried him near the church.
  • My wife says I never listen
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
  • A man gets arrested by a lady cop …
  • What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
  • I’ve decided to write a book about all of the things I should’ve done in my life.
  • Dad shocked
  • Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!
  • My ex was so greedy man it was unbelievable! You give her an inch
  • [Long Joke] A dead body was found in the lake.
  • A 7-year-old & 4-year-old are in their bedroom.
  • A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks!
  • Free Sex with Fill-Up!
  • Joe goes to a fortune teller and she tells him he’ll have unspeakable grief in 12 years.
  • My friend and I make frequent conjugal visits to a women’s prison, to remind the inmates what it’s like to have a selfless guy go down on them.
  • A drunk guy is showing his mates his new apartment
  • [NSFW] A drunk and a priest
  • Pope Innocent XII died and went to Heaven
  • When my 4-year-old son is afraid of a bug, I always tell him that the bug is probably more scared of him than he is of the bug.
  • 7 year old Jimmy is in class one day. His teacher, Ms.Brown tells the class:
  • Lawyer: ”And as proof of my clients innocence, we’ll submit his browsing history into evidence”
  • Environmentalists are concerned that drugs like antibiotics, steroids and even methamphetamines are getting into waterways and the oceans.
  • There once was a man who did toilet-themed cosplay. He would dress up as the bowl. The tank. The plunger. Even the water. But he had his standards.
  • The Prime Minister is in his limo, passing through the country side.
  • I don’t mean to brag but I need both hands for a wank.
  • My cousin always says he has a photographic memory
  • Boat Ramp Scam Alert!
  • A government official approached a pig farmer and asked him what he feeds his pigs.
  • Three weeks after the wedding the wife is calling her mom sobbing over the phone.
  • Two men were washed ashore during WWI.

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