With his mind alone, Command levitates a pen and paper off the nearby desk, and writes on it, "So did today's training suck or what?" Conquer simply speaks! "It was particularly brutal…
I accidentally swallowed my watch yesterday.
The only thing I could do was sit there and pass the time. Joke Poo: I Accidentally Swallowed a Grammar Book I accidentally swallowed a grammar book yesterday. The only thing I…
Two seventy-year-old friends meet one has a girlfriend in her 20’s
They all go to get a bite. When the 20-something girlfriend excuses herself to use the bathroom, The first one has to ask, "I'm so impressed! How did you land such a…
this is a UDP joke.
i don't care if you get it. Okay, I understand the "UDP joke" concept – unreliable delivery, and the "I don’t care if you get it" punchline. Here’s my attempt at a…
An owner had a racehorse that had never won a race.
Finally the owner lost patience and warned the horse: “Either you win this afternoon or you’ll be pulling a milk wagon tomorrow morning.” That afternoon, the horse was lined up with the…
Nun returns to the convent after a round of golf and speaks to her Mother Superior.
Nun: Mother Superior. I have to confess that today I took the name of our Lord Jesus Christ in vain. Mother Superior: What happened my child? Nun: I was on target to…
I was using a urinal when …
a midget walked up and began using the urinal next to me. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find…
I can’t believe how stupid I was for having relationships with women from Albania, China, Kyrgyzstan, Montenegro, Morocco, Tunisia, Turkiye and Vietnam.
Honestly, there were so many red flags. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: I can’t believe how gullible I was, investing…
A guy wanted a chaste woman and a virgin
A guy wanted a chaste woman and a virgin. So he went looking for one such. To test this, he would lower his pants and show his penis. Than he would ask:…
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on…