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Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Local Idiot 2: "Depends on the location." Local Idiot 1: "I'm in Oklahoma." Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the tattoo joke: Joke Poo: Corporate Speak Intern 1:…

Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was a great Jedi, but a terrible Rugby referee. Joke Poo: The Sphinx’s Sniff The Sphinx once declared, "Riddle me this: What has an eye, but cannot see?" He was a…

I put my cat on a vegan diet.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

One vegan a day is enough for her. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your cat/vegan joke: Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Investment I put my accountant on a…

A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull…

A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor considered his question for a moment, and then began to tell a story: “I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day, he…

My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, Let's see, mercury is in uranus right now. He said, I am not in this astrology stuff. Me: Me neither, my thermometer just broke. Joke Poo: The Plumber’s Horoscope My…

One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Suzie told about her trip to Florida. Clyde said his dad got drunk all the time. Little Johnny put a dot on the board and the teacher asked him to explain…

In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man and his wife were deeply in love, always holding hands, on the couch, on the bed, in public and in private. They expressed their feelings through this simple action for…

These tropical birds stole my beer…

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two cans. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: These Garden Gnomes Stole My Sausage These garden gnomes stole my sausage… Two links. Okay, let’s analyze this joke:…

The Sentence

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

An 80 year old man is brought before the court for shoplifting. This was his third offense and the sentencing guidelines called for a sentence of 15 to 20 years. The judge…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I’m debating whether I should move to Switzerland. On the one hand, I don’t like the cold…
  • A lot of people are upset about Superman being an illegal alien, wait until they realise he’s…
  • Where’s mommy?
  • A little 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day!
  • [NSFW] My granddad
  • My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.
  • Young woman gets tired of guys her age who couldn’t afford any nice restaurants.
  • I went to the doctor for my prostate exam.
  • Linda was well over thirty, but still completely flat-chested.
  • A man named pun walks into a room and ten people are found dead afterwards after he left
  • What is the fear of seeing all species of donkeys at once called?
  • How do New Zealanders find sheep in tall grass.
  • A 104-year-old man is being interviewed on the news.
  • How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
  • Drinking buddies
  • A demon runs a factory in Hell, and has a bunch of underlings working for it.
  • A priest …
  • How did Alan Greenspan answer his wife when she asked him “do these jeans make me look fat?”
  • What the rudest elf that works for Santa?
  • Did you hear about the guy who was sexually aroused by envelopes?
  • I like my women, just like how I like my laptop
  • Why does spider-man have such snappy comebacks?
  • My over weight friend had a heart attack while he orgasmed….
  • Starting a new website for d*ck pics
  • I can’t believe how well I’m accepting my husband’s small manhood.
  • At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke.
  • George staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Henry.
  • A Boeing 777 was lumbering along at just under 500 mph.
  • A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend’s house. The husband calls his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
  • God is speaking to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden
  • One day while he was building a barn
  • What do you call a cat, that gets away with a crime?
  • So Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar
  • God forgot something !
  • I’m writing a musical about an exchange student who becomes a nanny in Canada and garners a following when she blogs about it. It’s called…
  • A drunk walks up to a cop
  • What’s the difference between light an hard?
  • Why did the nose wear a condom?
  • Don’t try to understand women
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor?
  • A guy gets pulled over for speeding down a highway
  • I like my women like I like my coffee….
  • The Hokey Pokey Killer decided to stop being a serial killer and start being an upstanding member of society.
  • Why did the visually-impaired man fall into the well?
  • Two hunters charter a hydroplane to take them out into the wilderness.
  • Ms Universe final question: What are your thoughts on the male sex organ?
  • A woman grants her mother’s unusual dying wish.
  • A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.
  • my doctor told me i have a rare condition that causes my anus to produce sugar
  • A redneck tells his buddy, “I got my COVID test results today, it says 50. I don’t know what that means.”

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