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How could you do that? He was your blood, was with you the whole time, died in your hands, and you still killed him?!

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Don't make such a fuss about killing a mosquito," said my mom. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Unexpected Legacy "How could you do that? He entrusted you with everything, taught…

The water supply dried up on my friend’s farm.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hired a dowser and was digging all over his property trying find more water. So I sent him a get well soon card. Joke Poo: The Code Supply Dried Up My…

There used to be a joke about Oedipus and Midas, but I can’t remember it

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Which is sad, because it really was motherfucking gold. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Joke Decay," riffing on the Oedipus/Midas joke: Joke Decay There used to be a…

A guy is walking down the street with his little kid when a super hot woman walks by.

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The guy blurts out: "Daaamn, what an ass!" The kid hears him and asks, "What did you say, Dad?" Trying to cover it up, the dad panics, "Uh… ash, son. I said…

What do boobs and model trains have in common?

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're meant for kids but are primarily played with by grown men. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the boobs and model trains joke: Joke Poo: What do sourdough starters and…

Friend: “I’m poly.”

Posted on May 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me pulling out a cracker: "You won't believe what I've got for you." Joke Poo: Friend: "I just started composting." Me, excitedly pointing to my dog: "Oh my god, you are not…

A wise man once said: never lie to your wife

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because she only asks when she already knows the answer! Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Algorithm Knows A seasoned coder once told his protégé: never…

One day, Tarzan was swinging on vines in the jungle

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

One day, Tarzan was swinging on vines in the jungle when he saw a beautiful lady sunbathing on the ground. He walks up to her and because she is wearing a skimpy…

A young man decided it was time to come out to his family.

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was worried most about his grandmother, so he approached her in the kitchen. "Grandma, I, uh, have to tell you something." "Yes, sweety?" "I, uh, I'm gay." "Gay?" His heart stopped….

The Sweater

Posted on May 27, 2025May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Four married men went fishing. After a while, they started talking to each other. – You won’t believe what I had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. I…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • It was five o’clock, and the shift at the coal mine was over
  • A man doesn’t know the meaning of true happiness until he gets married.
  • “I’ve been talking to supernatural entities for years, and they are trying to seduce me,” I told my doctor.
  • When we were first married my wife had the body of a supermodel
  • A redneck goes to the doctor for a physical. “I need stool sample, a urine sample, and a sperm sample,” says the doctor.
  • Omar Epps moved nextdoor to Chris Hemsworth.
  • A drunk man is refused service at a bar, so he tries to sneak in through different doors
  • Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I’ve been with a loose girl.
  • Bubba and Billy Bob were known for having below average IQ around Little Rock.
  • Son: “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin.”
  • My husband and i have a secret to making our marriage last.
  • A Proctologist Goes To The Grocery
  • A boy tells his father: “Dad, I have such a strong desire to live forever. What should I do?”
  • Confucius say baseball wrong.
  • The wrestler
  • God some people have no shame. Just got on a bus with 20 people in fetish costumes.
  • Why did the chicken go to the seance?
  • I went into my local bakery to buy a cake…
  • A wealthy real estate investor is looking to buy more land for development, but a local farmer won’t sell the last plot he needs
  • I found my absolute favorite machine at the gym today.
  • What do you call it when a boy finally claps back with a really good dad joke to his own dad?
  • Ma and Pa were two old folks living out on a farm up in the hills.
  • Why did the fat emu feel left out?
  • Adam a new recruit
  • A guy walks into a bar and orders a martini.
  • Had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector today.
  • Today I went to the optician. They said I am colorblind.
  • After sex last night my girlfriend said “your easily the biggest I’ve ever had.”.
  • My wife started doing black magic on dolls. I said, “This is nonsense.”
  • Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was.
  • A young family moved into the house next door to a vacant lot.
  • What do you do when you’re attacked by a gang of circus performers?
  • What has 9 hands and sucks?
  • I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes…..
  • An animal control official knocks on a man’s door
  • I had a weird living tree-guy do the tile for my bathroom.
  • A friar is like a monk, except that he’s not confined to a monastery.
  • My school got raided
  • What do you call it when cows masturbate?
  • A man is trying to remember the name of a restaurant from his childhood, so he visits his elderly father.
  • An Irish man walks into a bar
  • What did the porn star have for lunch?
  • One year, for my birthday, my dad took me to one of those restaurants where kids under 10 eat for free. Right before we walked in, he goes, ‘Remember. You’re 9 today.’ I panicked. Ten seconds later, the hostess asks, ‘And how old are you, birthday boy?’ I blurted out, ‘Twelve!’ My dad was so mad.
  • People are now talking about the missing minute from the security camera.
  • The husband leans over and asks his wife…
  • What do ghosts use to get rid of wrinkles?
  • When I see you, I want you to feel something in your stomach,
  • After disputing the area of my land my neighbour stole my posts and knocked down my wall
  • “What do you want for birthday?” My girlfriend asked
  • I worked on that “old” joke from earlier and I also read a lot of the comments, and so I came up with this. I was hoping it that it was a little funnier to read.:

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