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Category: Politician

What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: What’s the difference between a plumber and a chef? A chef…

One year, for my birthday, my dad took me to one of those restaurants where kids under 10 eat for free. Right before we walked in, he goes, ‘Remember. You’re 9 today.’ I panicked. Ten seconds later, the hostess asks, ‘And how old are you, birthday boy?’ I blurted out, ‘Twelve!’ My dad was so mad.

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Worst 18th birthday ever. Joke Poo: Toilet Paper Panic One year, for my birthday, my mom took me to one of those public restrooms where you have to pay for toilet paper….

The husband leans over and asks his wife…

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we made whoopee, over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern, you leaned against the back…

The one thing politicians & porn stars have in common?

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're both experts at switching positions in front of a camera. Okay, here’s the original joke and my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version, riffing on it: Original Joke: The one thing…

Two city boys decide to go hunting…

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

They buy all the equipment, watch all the YouTube videos and arrive in the forest ready to be real alpha men. They spend some time prowling about the forest seeing nothing to…

Politician dies and gets to chose between Heaven and Hell (it’s not that one)

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places. The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all…

What’s your greatest need?

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

The president of Slobbovia was running for re-election and held a rally in the small town of Hicknia. He yelled to the crowd, "I am here for you! What is your greatest…

How does an ancient Mesopotamian write reports?

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sumerizes Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, riffing on your Mesopotamian joke: Joke Poo: Why did the plumber become a politician? Because he knew how to deal with a lot of……

The musical director of an orchestra became so annoyed

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

with his lead cellist for playing too fast that he smashed him over the head with the instrument, causing fatal injuries. At his subsequent trial, he was found guilty of murder and…

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because he can. Because he can't make a fist. Joke Poo: Original Joke: Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can’t make a fist. Joke Poo: Why does a politician…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.
  • A tourist goes to a restaurant in Madrid and orders the special. When it comes, he asks what it is.
  • What do orgasms and sneezing have in common?
  • A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands.
  • It’s early fall, Joe is out raking leaves…
  • I said to my wife, “Sit down, I’ve got something to tell you.”
  • A British Police Officer Is Walking Along Side an American Officer When They Spot An 18-Year-Old Casually Resting on Heavy Duty Sniper Rifle, Sipping A Beer in the Front Yard.
  • A cowboy rode into town and decided to stop by the local saloon for a drink.
  • I watched a porno flick about a sex competition, and couldn’t decide who I wanted to win.
  • What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
  • I said to my therapist “I’ve been feeling ultra paranoid lately”
  • The Butcher Dance
  • Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

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