Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places.
The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all vibrant, sunny, peaceful with charming harp music playing. There are people dressed in white robes walking around, everyone appears happy and peacefully. But honestly seems a little boring.
Then the politician gets a tour of Hell and it's not at all what he expected.
In hell he is shown all of his favorite things: beautiful golf courses, free everything, infinite booze, all his old friends, parting, drugs, prostitutes. The politician can't believe it, it's like all of his epic night outs combined and stretched out to infinity.
When it's time to make his choice, rather surprisingly the politician chooses Heaven.
The devil, completely shocked by this choice asks him "Well why did you chose Heaven after I showed you how incredibly Hell would be for you"
The politician then replies "I know false promises in a campaign when I see them"
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Solution
A customer dies and is given the choice between Ultimate Tech Support and Basic Tech Support, but first he is given a demo of both options.
The demo of Basic Tech Support goes as expected: endless hold music, robotic voice prompts demanding account numbers, and a disembodied voice eventually answering with a curt, “Did you try turning it off and on again?” People are clearly frustrated, phones are being slammed, and tears are being shed. Honestly, it seems awful.
Then the customer gets a demo of Ultimate Tech Support and it’s not at all what he expected.
In Ultimate Tech Support, he’s greeted by a friendly avatar who instantly knows his problem. Within seconds, the avatar is remotely piloting a swarm of nano-bots that fix all his devices, optimize his internet speed, and even teach his smart fridge to make artisanal coffee. All the problems are instantly resolved. There are zero wait times, zero irritating voices, and zero need to explain anything. The customer can’t believe it; it’s like all his tech support dreams combined and stretched out to infinity.
When it’s time to make his choice, rather surprisingly, the customer chooses Basic Tech Support.
The angel, completely shocked by this choice, asks him, “Well, why did you choose Basic Tech Support after I showed you how incredibly Ultimate Tech Support would be for you?”
The customer then replies, “I know planned obsolescence when I see it. Those nano-bots are just waiting for their firmware update to brick everything I own.”
Alright, let’s dissect this political humor, and then build something funnier on its foundation.
Joke Breakdown:
- Core Concept: The joke hinges on the stereotype of politicians as people who make empty promises and are attracted to vices. It flips the usual “Heaven is good, Hell is bad” narrative by presenting Hell as appealing and Heaven as dull.
- Key Elements:
- The Politician: The central figure, representing a type of individual viewed with skepticism and cynicism.
- Heaven: Presented as idyllic but ultimately unappealing due to its monotony.
- Hell: A hedonistic paradise, directly appealing to the politician’s presumed vices.
- The Choice: The setup for the punchline, creating suspense about the politician’s decision.
- The Punchline: The politician chooses Heaven not out of piety, but because he recognizes Hell’s presentation as a false promise, a skill he’s honed in his career. This is the core of the joke. The implication is politicians are master deceivers.
Comedic Enrichment: Amusing ‘Did You Know?’ Enhancement
Did you know that the concept of “Heaven” and “Hell” as distinct afterlives wasn’t fully formalized in Christian theology until the Middle Ages? Before that, ideas about the afterlife were much more varied and fluid. In fact, early church fathers debated the precise nature of Hell, with some arguing it was a literal fire and brimstone, and others seeing it as a state of separation from God. So, if our politician had died in, say, the 2nd century AD, he might have avoided that whole awkward tour of the vice-filled paradise altogether. He would have gone straight to the purgatorial filing system, been assigned a holding cell, and waited for the debate to conclude.
New Joke Construction:
Using the factual enrichment.
A Politician dies and is offered a tour of Heaven and the Purgatorial Filing System. Heaven, as usual, is boring.
The guide says “I’m sorry but the process of figuring out which hell you go to is still being debated. Some think it’s a fire, others think it’s eternal shame. So you’ll have to wait here until the 2nd century theologians figure it out.”
The politician pulls out his phone “I know a guy who can influence the debate.”
Why it works
It uses modern political humor to mock the debate around hell. Politicians are shown as the type to interfere with ancient religious debates.