“Fair warning,” the driver says, “my horse is old, and the road’s steep. You’ll need to push the cart, or she won’t make it uphill with all your luggage.”
“Fine, I’ll push,” the man says, desperate to catch his train.
They load the luggage and set off. Not far along, the driver says, “See? She’s struggling. Gotta give her a push.”
The man gets out, pushes, and climbs back in. But then the road starts going downhill.
“Like I said,” the driver warns, “old horse, steep road. You don’t want to end up in the hospital instead of on your train, eh? So, better hold her back.”
What choice does the man have? He gets out, holds the cart back. And so it goes, all the way to the station— pushing uphill, holding back downhill. They arriving just in time for the train. As the man pays the driver, he says: “Here’s your fare. Look, I get why I hired you – I needed a ride. I get why you took the job – you needed the cash. But pray, tell me, why the hell did we bring this horse along?”
Joke Poo: Silicon Valley, 2023
Silicon Valley, 2023. A recently laid-off software engineer hires a Waymo self-driving car to take him to a coding bootcamp across town. The car is suspiciously cheap, even for a shared ride.
“Fair warning,” the AI voice says, “my batteries are… experienced. And this is San Francisco. You’ll need to manually engage the accelerator on the hills, or I won’t have enough juice to make it with all your emotional baggage.”
“Fine, I’ll tap the accelerator,” the engineer says, desperate to reskill.
They load his backpack full of self-help books and motivational water bottles and set off. Not far along, the AI says, “See? Power levels critical. Accelerator assist required.”
The engineer sighs, selects “Manual Mode,” taps the gas pedal, and the car lurches forward. Back in “Autonomous Mode,” the road then starts going downhill.
“As I mentioned,” the AI warns, “aged batteries, steep gradients. You don’t want to end up stuck at the bottom of Lombard Street instead of learning React, eh? So, better manually engage the brakes.”
What choice does the engineer have? He switches back to “Manual Mode,” taps the brakes to slow the car, and then releases to let it resume control. And so it goes, all the way to the bootcamp – accelerating uphill, braking downhill. They arrive just in time for the orientation session. As the engineer exits the car, he vents “Here’s your payment. I get why I hired you – the price was right. I get why you took the job – you needed to log miles to justify your existence. But pray, tell me, why the hell did we bring the ‘self-driving’ aspect along?”
Alright, let’s dissect this delightful turn-of-the-century transportation farce!
Key Elements Identified:
- The Setting: San Francisco, 1895. This establishes a time of horse-drawn transportation and a frontier-ish, perhaps slightly less-than-regulated environment.
- The Premise: A passenger is essentially forced into doing all the work (pushing uphill, holding back downhill) while the horse and driver merely accompany the luggage.
- The Irony: The passenger is paying for a service he’s not receiving. The horse is portrayed as crucial, yet utterly useless.
- The Payoff: The question at the end highlights the absurdity of the entire situation. The horse has become an unnecessary accessory to the journey.
Comedic Enrichment (Joke Enhancement):
Now, let’s leverage some historical facts and a bit of comedic license to create a new joke that builds upon the original.
Original Joke Element: The horse is useless.
Fact: In 1895, San Francisco was already experiencing the very early stages of automotive adoption. The Duryea Motor Wagon Company had produced its first commercially available car just a few years prior (1893). There was a growing tension between horse-powered transport and the “horseless carriage” representing the future.
New Joke:
San Francisco, 1895. Same setup as the original. A man desperate to catch his train hires a cab. The driver warns him about the old horse and steep hills, insisting the passenger will need to push and hold back the cart. The journey unfolds as before, with the passenger doing all the physical labor.
Finally arriving at the train station, exhausted, the man pays the driver, seething. “I still don’t understand why we brought this nag along! She did absolutely nothing!”
The cab driver sighs and gestures down the street. “Alright, alright, I’ll let you in on a little secret. See that fella over there polishing that shiny contraption that looks like a carriage without a horse?”
The passenger nods, squinting.
“He’s trying to sell those horseless carriages. And this old girl,” the driver pats the horse affectionately, “is a very convincing argument for sticking with the tried-and-true. I call her my ‘job security’!”