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Shaggy God story

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A grandmother wants to take her grandson to the beach. The child’s mother, is worried the old woman will not be attentive to the child…”please” the grandmother begs “I’ve even bought him a sailor suit with a little hat!” Finally the mother relents.
At the beach, a huge wave rolls in from the horizon, crashes onto the beach and pulls the small boy out to sea without a trace.
The grandmother is in shock. She falls to her knees, looking to the sky. She begs…“God, please return my grandson. I’ll never ask for anything ever again!”
On the horizon, a second huge wave, rolls towards the beach, crashes at the grandmother’s feet and deposits the child wet but unharmed.
Again looking to the sky, the grandmother says
“He had a hat.”

Joke Poo: The Crypto Crash

A young, newly minted crypto millionaire wants to treat his eccentric Aunt Mildred to a lavish ski vacation in Aspen. His more sensible mother is worried Mildred won’t grasp the value of responsible investing… "Please," begs the nephew, "I’ve even bought her a diamond-encrusted ski suit! It’s worth more than your house!" Finally, the mother relents.

On the slopes, a catastrophic flash crash sends Bitcoin plummeting to zero. The young millionaire’s entire fortune vanishes in seconds, leaving him sobbing in the snow.

Aunt Mildred, oblivious to the drama, looks skyward and wails, "Oh, crypto gods, please restore my nephew’s wealth! I’ll sell my porcelain doll collection if you do!"

Suddenly, a massive avalanche of fresh powder roars down the mountain, burying the young millionaire but leaving him perfectly unharmed.

Aunt Mildred, dusting off her diamond-encrusted suit, looks back up to the sky and complains, "It was supposed to be green energy coin!"

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then riff on it.

Joke Analysis:

  • Core Premise: A desperate prayer is answered, but the petitioner immediately finds fault with the divine gift. This is a classic subversion of expectations.
  • Key Elements:
    • The Grandmother: Represents relentless nagging and an inability to be satisfied.
    • The Sailor Suit: Symbolizes an over-the-top, slightly ridiculous level of concern or expectation. It’s a detail that is completely irrelevant to the core issue (life and death).
    • God’s Intervention: The scale of the intervention is absurdly disproportionate to the request and the complaint.
    • The Punchline ("He had a hat."): The incongruity is what makes it funny. After witnessing a miracle, the grandmother’s only concern is a missing hat. It highlights the pettiness of human nature.
    • Wave: A tool of divine power, and an unexpected danger.

Humorous Enrichment:

Let’s play on the "miraculous intervention with a trivial complaint" angle, and the idea of disproportionate divine action. Here’s a new joke:

New Joke:

A programmer, stressed and sleep-deprived, types furiously, trying to debug a critical piece of code. He’s been at it for 72 hours straight. He screams to the heavens, "God, if you’re real, just fix this one bug! I promise, I’ll never write another line of bad code again!"

Suddenly, a blinding light fills the room. A booming voice echoes from the sky, "Very well!" The screen flickers, the code compiles flawlessly, and the application runs perfectly. The programmer is awestruck.

But then, he notices something. He looks back up at the sky and shouts, "Hey! It’s now written in COBOL!"

Humorous Tidbit (Playing on the Wave element):

Did you know that the largest recorded wave was a rogue wave measuring a staggering 1720 feet, hitting Lituya Bay, Alaska, in 1958? Scientists believe it was triggered by a massive landslide caused by an earthquake. Imagine the grandmother’s disappointment if that wave returned her grandson with the hat…and a few extra tons of Alaskan sediment.

Witty Observation:

The grandmother’s complaint about the hat is the theological equivalent of complaining that your free pony came without a saddle. You got a pony! And your grandson!

Why it Works:

  • The new joke uses a similar structure: desperate plea, miraculous intervention, trivial complaint. It replaces beach and the grandmother with technology and programmer, reflecting a modern problem.
  • The "COBOL" addition introduces humor for tech-savvy audience by reflecting the problems of legacy code and unexpected changes during development.
  • The "rogue wave tidbit" exaggerates the already absurd scenario, making it even funnier.
  • The "pony" observation highlights the core incongruity in a concise and relatable way.

The goal is to amplify the humor by adding layers of relatable absurdity and incongruity, while still paying homage to the original joke’s comedic structure.

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