When the therapist asked what the problem was, the wife launched into a marathon rant – neglect, no intimacy, loneliness, feeling unloved, unappreciated… You name it, she aired it.
After patiently listening, the therapist calmly got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife to stand, and – right in front of the husband – gave her a long, passionate kiss. The wife sat back down in stunned silence.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, “Sir, your wife needs this at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”
The husband scratched his head and said, “Well… I can drop her off on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Fridays I go fishing.”
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of that joke, maintaining a similar structure and twist:
Joke Poo: The Space Plumber
After a disastrous mission to unclog the Galactic Drain, the Space Plumber and his trusty Robot Assistant, Bolt, reported to the Intergalactic Plumbing Supervisor.
The Supervisor asked what went wrong. Bolt, with a whirring fury, launched into a torrent of complaints – faulty laser wrenches, zero-gravity pipe clamps that wouldn’t grip, malfunctioning wormhole generators, and a general lack of appreciation for the hazards of deep-space plumbing.
After patiently listening, the Supervisor calmly detached his gravity boots, floated around the desk, asked Bolt to extend his robotic arm, and – right in front of the Space Plumber – gave the arm a thorough, meticulous oiling and diagnostic check. Bolt’s lights blinked contentedly.
The Supervisor turned to the Space Plumber and said, “Plumber, your robot needs this kind of maintenance at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”
The Plumber scratched his helmet and said, “Well… I can schedule it in on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Fridays I have a date with the Nebula Nurse at the Orbital Watering Hole.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then spice it up a bit.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A long-married couple seeks therapy. The wife voices her complaints.
- Misdirection: The therapist appears to offer a practical, if unorthodox, solution by demonstrating what the wife needs.
- Punchline: The husband interprets the “solution” in a literal and self-centered way, focusing on the logistics of transporting his wife for the therapy, oblivious to the emotional and relational implications. The punchline derives humor from the man’s obliviousness and selfishness.
Key Elements:
- Long Marriage: Implies established patterns of behavior and communication (or lack thereof).
- Therapy: Suggests a problem has been recognized, but attempts at resolution have failed.
- Wife’s Rant: Highlights the emotional deficit in the relationship.
- Therapist’s Kiss: An unexpected and provocative intervention.
- Husband’s Literal Interpretation: The core of the humor; a complete failure to understand the deeper meaning.
- Fishing: Representing the husband’s selfish interests and priorities
Comedic Enrichment – Option 1: The “Did You Know?” Twist
Did you know that statistically, after 35 years of marriage, men are 78% more likely to remember the exact brand of fishing lure that caught their biggest fish than their wife’s birthday? And a study by the Institute for Relationship Salvage found that the leading cause of couples therapy referrals is, and I quote, “An inability to distinguish between a ‘catch’ and a ‘commitment.'”
Comedic Enrichment – Option 2: The Revised Punchline
Let’s play off the fishing angle a little more directly.
Therapist: “Sir, your wife needs this at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”
Husband: “Three times a week? That’s more than I bait my own hooks! And besides, Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m working on my fly fishing technique… so no.
Comedic Enrichment – Option 3: The Meta-Joke
Therapist: “Sir, your wife needs this at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”
Husband: “Look, I came here for therapy, not a poorly written joke. The punchline is too obvious, the premise is tired, and frankly, I’ve seen better comedic timing in a bass fishing competition.“
Why these work:
- Option 1 (“Did You Know?”): Uses statistics and a fake institute to amplify the absurdity of the husband’s priorities. It sounds like a legitimate observation while being ridiculous.
- Option 2 (Revised Punchline): Doubles down on the husband’s obsession with fishing, connecting the therapist’s instruction to the husband’s hobby.
- Option 3 (Meta-Joke): Makes fun of the joke itself, pointing out the obviousness and relying on the element of surprise.
The goal is to build upon the original joke, adding a layer of unexpected humor. The “Did You Know?” format lends itself well to this, as it can be filled with false or exaggerated facts that highlight the underlying issues in the joke.