"In conclusion, ladies, if you get pregnant, you'll likely have to drop out and miss out on many of your dreams. Think about it: is that one hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of commitment?"
"Now," the Dean says, "Are there any questions?"
"Yeah," says a voice from the back. "How do you make them last an hour?"
Joke Poo: The Bake Sale
It’s the annual church bake sale, and Sister Agnes is finishing up her sales pitch to the attendees gathered around the table laden with treats.
“In conclusion, everyone, these delicious cookies, cakes, and pies took a lot of time and effort to make. Think about it: is that one moment of indulgence worth a lifetime on the treadmill?”
“Now,” Sister Agnes says, beaming, “Are there any questions?”
“Yeah,” says a voice from the back. “How do you make it last a lifetime?”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements:
- Setting: First day of college, aimed at female freshmen. Implies a serious and potentially sexually charged environment.
- Straight Man: The Dean of Women, delivering a moralistic and cautionary message.
- Punchline: The freshman’s question focuses on the duration of sex, subverting the Dean’s serious tone with a crass, immediate concern. The humor comes from the blatant disregard for the Dean’s larger point about responsibility and future consequences.
- Underlying Themes: Sex, consequence, youthful naiveté/hormonal impulsiveness vs. adult responsibility.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Let’s focus on the “hour of pleasure” aspect. The joke hinges on the absurdity of that timeframe. Let’s amplify that:
New Joke:
The Dean of Women, horrified by the previous year’s question about “making it last an hour,” decides to take a new approach.
“Alright, ladies,” she says sternly, “This year, I’m being realistic. That ‘one hour of pleasure’ I mentioned last year? Let’s be honest, it’s probably closer to three minutes… maybe five if you’re both really trying. So, is that three-to-five minutes worth…” she pauses, “Look, just use protection, okay? And maybe invest in some good TV for those long, lonely nights of studying.”
Why it works:
- Plays on the original: Directly references the previous joke, creating a meta-humor effect.
- Exaggeration & Relatability: Humorously diminishes the time frame, acknowledging the often-unrealistic expectations around sex, and leaning into the reality of studying in college.
- Unexpected Honesty: The Dean’s shift to blunt honesty about both sex and the college experience is jarring and funny, further undermining the traditional “Dean of Women” role.
Amusing “Did You Know” based on the joke’s concept:
Did you know that according to a 2015 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the median time from vaginal penetration to ejaculation is about 5.4 minutes? So that freshman asking about lasting an hour? Ambition, or perhaps a future career in the marathon sex industry. Also…this joke could fall flat for certain people!