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Fake Poo

So this guy walks into a bar,

Posted on September 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

looking like he just wrestled with a dumpster raccoon. He says to the bartender:
“Listen, I know this sounds crazy… but if I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen in your life, will you give me free drinks tonight?”

The bartender shrugs. “Sure, why not.”

The guy pulls a tiny piano out of his coat pocket. Sets it on the bar. Then he pulls a tiny man out of his other pocket—about a foot tall—and this little guy just rips into the piano like Stevie Wonder on Red Bull.

The bartender’s jaw hits the floor. He pours the man a drink, then another, then another… soon both man and miniature musician are hammered.

Finally the bartender can’t take it anymore. He leans in and says, “Okay… I gotta ask. Where the hell did you get him?”

The guy slurs: “You’re not gonna believe me… but there’s a genie’s lamp in your dumpster out back. Rub it, you get one wish.”

Later that night, bartender’s taking the trash out. Sure enough, there’s a lamp sitting in the dumpster. He rubs it, poof! Genie pops out.

“Congratulations! One wish—anything you want.”

Without hesitation: “I wish I had a billion bucks!”

The genie snaps his fingers, disappears—then suddenly a duck falls out of the sky. Then another. Then another. Before long the whole alley is filled with quacking, flapping ducks.

Freaked out, the bartender runs back inside, grabs the guy by the collar and yells:
“I didn’t ask for a billion ducks, I asked for a billion bucks!”

The guy just sighs, points at the piano, and says:
“Yeah, you really think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?”

Joke Poo: The Tech Support Lamp

A woman calls tech support, sounding like she’s about to throw her router out the window. She says to the tech:

“Listen, I know this sounds crazy… but if I show you the most baffling thing you’ve ever seen in your life, will you escalate my ticket to the top priority queue?”

The tech sighs internally. “Ma’am, with all due respect…”

The woman holds up a shimmering USB drive. Then she plugs it into her computer. Suddenly, a tiny, pixelated man appears on her screen – about an inch tall – and he starts frantically coding at lightning speed, lines of code whizzing by.

The tech is stunned into silence. He puts her on hold to collect himself, then promises priority service for life. Soon, the woman and the pixelated coder are collaborating, fixing bugs left and right.

Finally, the tech can’t contain himself. He leans into the microphone and says, “Okay… I gotta ask. Where the hell did you get him?”

The woman whispers: “You’re not gonna believe me… but there’s a magic lamp in the company breakroom. Rub it, you get one wish, but I only get 1 wish ever.”

Later that day, during his coffee break, the tech searches the breakroom for lamp sitting on top of the dusty microwave, sure enough! He rubs it, poof! Genie pops out, looking bored.

“Congratulations! One wish—anything you want.”

Without hesitation: “I wish I had perfect, unbreakable code for all future software projects!”

The genie snaps his fingers, disappears—then suddenly a bird begins repeating “caw”. Then another. Then another. Before long the whole office is filled with cawing, flapping crows.

Freaked out, the tech runs back to the woman, grabs her arm and yells:
“I didn’t ask for a gaggle of CAWs, I asked for code that never breaks!”

The woman just sighs, points at the screen, and says:
“Yeah, you really think I asked for a one-inch developer?”

Okay, let’s dissect this joke.

Key Elements:

  • The Setup: A seemingly down-on-his-luck guy offers a trade for witnessing something incredible.
  • The Absurd: A tiny pianist who’s amazing. This is the core comedic element.
  • The Genie: The source of the absurd, but also a source of further chaos.
  • Wish Misinterpretation: A classic trope, the genie grants the wish literally, but not as intended.
  • The Punchline: The guy’s wish was also misinterpreted, creating a parallel and a double layer of absurdity.

Analysis:

The humor lies in the unexpected. The combination of the mundane (a bar) with the fantastical (a genie and a miniature pianist) creates a delightful incongruity. The misinterpretation of wishes is relatable, as we’ve all experienced misunderstandings. The final punchline connects the two absurd elements, highlighting the flawed communication and randomness of the genie’s magic.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s focus on the “tiny pianist” element and expand it.

New Joke/Observation:

Why did the micro-musician quit his job at the dollhouse concert hall?

Too much small change, not enough big tips! Besides, he kept getting stage fright…it was a doll-drumming experience!

OR

Amusing “Did You Know?” (Connected to the Original Joke):

Did you know that the world record for the smallest playable piano is only a few millimeters long? It was created using nanotechnology, and while it can theoretically produce sound, you’d need instruments far more sensitive than the human ear to hear it. So, even if a genie did grant you a tiny pianist, you’d still need a microscope and a super-sensitive microphone to enjoy the show! Guess that bartender should have wished for better audio equipment first. Maybe that’s why he ended up with a billion ducks…the genie was hard of hearing?

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