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Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)

Posted on September 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."

So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.

The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"

Joke Poo: A Fork in the Road

A spork walks into a kitchen. After a while, it starts to feel pretty useful (and a little cocky). It reaches for a bowl of noodles, but the chef stops it. “Sorry, buddy, but due to culinary trends, we don’t allow sporks to eat noodles in here. You’ll have to use chopsticks.”

So the spork reluctantly heads toward the utensil drawer to find some chopsticks. Meanwhile, another spork emerges from the sink, freshly washed. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly intertwined. They try to get free, but the more they struggle, the more stuck they become.

The chef looks down on this mess and sighs. “Hey you two!” he shouts. “Get a handle on yourselves! This is a fork in the road. I’ll give you until dinner rush or you are toast!”

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then see if we can polish it up or riff on it.

Analysis of the Original Joke:

  • Core Concept: The joke relies on personification of a monocle and a pun on the phrase “making spectacles of yourselves.”
  • Setup: The setup establishes a scenario where a monocle is treated as a person, entering a bar, drinking, and attempting to smoke. This absurdity is key to the humor. The second monocle and the clash are crucial to leading into the punchline.
  • Pun: The punchline utilizes the double meaning of “spectacles.” It refers both to the literal “spectacles” (eyeglasses), and the act of creating a public, ridiculous scene.
  • Humor Type: Wordplay (pun), absurdity, and mild situational comedy.
  • Target Audience: People who appreciate puns and dry humor.

Key Elements to Play With:

  • Monocles: As a once-popular but now rare accessory, they evoke a certain image of old-fashioned sophistication or eccentricity.
  • Bars: As a setting for social interaction, overindulgence, and, traditionally, smoking, the bar provides context for the monocle’s (humanized) behavior.
  • Puns: The punchline, being a pun, is the engine of the joke. Any augmentation has to involve another pun-like device.
  • Entanglement: The slapstick imagery of two monocles hopelessly tangled adds a physical comedy element.

Enhanced Humor: A New Angle

Given the reliance on wordplay and the imagery of a monocle in a bar, here’s a thought for a related piece of humor:

Option 1: Amusing Factoid + Puns

“Did you know? Monocles were most popular in the late 19th century, particularly among wealthy gentlemen. They were a symbol of both status and poor eyesight. Which raises the question: If a monocle lost its vision benefits, would it just be… a regular lense-thing?”

Why This Works:

  • Factoid: It starts with a factual bit of information about monocles, lending credibility.
  • Relevancy: The comment still touches upon the eyewear theme.
  • Wordplay: Ending with the pun creates a satisfying sense of closure.

Option 2: The Monocle’s Lament (New Short Joke)

A monocle sits alone at the bar, nursing a ginger ale. “It’s rough, you know,” he sighs to the bartender. “Everyone thinks I’m putting on airs, but I just can’t seem to see eye to eye with bifocals.”

Why This Works:

  • Plays on Persona: It continues the personification of the monocle, highlighting its perceived arrogance.
  • New Pun: Incorporates another pun (see eye to eye) that fits the eyewear theme.
  • Short and Sweet: Maintains the brevity of a single-joke format.

The aim is not necessarily to “improve” the original joke (humor is subjective!), but to expand on its elements and create a related, hopefully amusing, piece.

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