The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom was unable to holdme or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctorssay that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum ”
Joke Poo: The Veterinary Visit
Dr. Emily Carter, a renowned veterinarian, was holding her weekly clinic hours.
She asked if any of the pet owners present would like to share a success story about their animal’s recovery.
Mrs. Higgins stood up, clutching her fluffy Persian cat, Princess Fluffernutter. "I have one," she announced. "Two months ago, Princess Fluffernutter had a terrible incident involving a ceiling fan. Her tail was completely mangled. The pain was unbearable, and you didn’t know if you could save it."
A wave of sympathetic murmurs rippled through the waiting room. People winced, imagining the poor cat’s suffering.
"Princess Fluffernutter couldn’t sit comfortably, couldn’t play with her toys," Mrs. Higgins continued, her voice trembling. "Every twitch of her tail brought her immense agony. We prayed as you performed a miraculous surgery, piecing together the shattered remnants and using tiny splints to hold it all together."
The audience shifted uncomfortably, envisioning the delicate procedure. One man nearly fainted.
"Now," Mrs. Higgins proclaimed, beaming, "thank goodness, Princess Fluffernutter is home and the doctors say that with time, her tail should recover completely!"
A collective sigh of relief swept the room. Dr. Carter, touched, asked if anyone else had a story to share.
A man stood up hesitantly and walked to the front. "I’m Mr. Higgins," he said. The room held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife the word is whiskers.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke.
Key Elements:
- Setup: The setup is crucial. It establishes a serious, emotionally charged situation – a husband’s horrific bicycle accident and a potentially life-altering (or, ahem, scrotum-altering) injury. The language ("crushed," "excruciating," "delicate operation") amplifies the drama.
- Misdirection: The congregation (and the audience) is led to believe this is a genuine, heartfelt testimony of faith and gratitude. We empathize with Tom’s imagined suffering and Suzie’s devotion.
- Bathos/Punchline: The punchline hinges on the word "scrotum" being mistaken for "sternum." The sudden shift from a grave medical situation to a simple mispronunciation creates humor through incongruity and the release of tension. The punchline also benefits from the taboo nature of the word "scrotum" itself.
- Implied Suffering: The joke relies heavily on the reader/listener’s ability to imagine the pain and discomfort associated with the described injury and surgery. This visceral element adds to the humor.
- Dramatic Irony: The congregation doesn’t know Suzie has misspoken, but the audience does, creating a sense of anticipatory amusement.
Now, let’s enrich this with some comedic observation and create a new joke or a related humorous tidbit:
Observation & Enrichment:
Did you know that the sternum, or breastbone, gets its name from the Ancient Greek word sternon meaning "chest"? Interestingly, while a crushed sternum is indeed a serious injury (usually caused by significant blunt force trauma, like a bicycle accident), the mental image it evokes is nowhere near as… ahem, delicate as a similarly described injury to, well, that other body part. This is partly why the joke works; the stark contrast in our instinctive reactions to the two scenarios (a broken chest versus a mangled reproductive organ) amplifies the humor of the misspoken word. We are all more squeamish than we’d like to admit.
New Joke/Humorous Scenario:
A man is rushed to the emergency room after a bizarre accident involving a rogue garden gnome and a trampoline. The doctor, a seasoned professional known for his bedside manner, confidently strides in and says, "Alright, let’s take a look at your sternum."
The patient, his eyes wide with panic, whimpers, "But… but I thought it was my scrotum that was injured! The gnome…"
The doctor sighs, "Sir, trust me. After years of practice, I can tell a sternum from a scrotum. Now, drop your trousers, and let’s get this chest examined."