A husband comes home to find his wife in the bedroom in her lingerie, he's surprised because she didn't anticipate him to come home and she only ever wears it when she's getting frisky, so he starts accusing and gets a fit of rage when he sees a man running from the street bellow, he then picks up the wardrobe to try and hit him but strains his heart and dies.
So 3 men arrived at the burley gates of heaven and is greeted by St Gabriel.
Gabriel asks, now, before i let you into heaven i need to do some security checks, make sure you did good deeds
The husband shamefully approached first and apologised and said, she was wearing the lingerie I baught her and I just become overwhelmed with jealousy and threw my wardrobe out the window because i saw someone running. Well st Gabriel said, " I suppose you can be forgiven since you have shown contrition. You may enter"
The second man approaches and categorically denies any wrong doing "honestly st Gabriel, I was running for the bus and out of nowhere this wardrobe hit me and I died. "I'm so sorry that happened, not to worry it wasn't your fault, you may enter"
St Gabriel calls the third and before he could say anything the man said "I had better walk downstairs sir, because I was in the wardrobe"
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, inspired by your original, titled:
Joke Poo: The Cosmic Spreadsheet
A programmer is working late, fueled by caffeine and pizza. He’s racing to finish a crucial update before the deadline. Frustrated with a particularly stubborn bug, he slams his fist on the keyboard in a fit of rage. The surge fries the entire system, causing a catastrophic global internet outage and killing him from the shock of responsibility for the sudden halt to all cat videos.
Three souls arrive at the pearly gates (which are now made of shimmering, dynamically updating LED screens). St. Peter greets them.
St. Peter says, “Welcome! Before you enter paradise, I need to review your karmic logs. Let’s see if you were good citizens of the digital world.”
The programmer shuffles forward, looking sheepish. “I, uh, might have caused a bit of a problem… I lost my temper, overloaded the system, and well…”
St. Peter sighs. “Well, you seemed genuinely sorry about the outage, so you may enter.”
The second person steps up, visibly annoyed. “Honestly, St. Peter, I was just trying to stream a movie! The internet went down so suddenly, my pacemaker glitched, and I died. It wasn’t my fault!”
St. Peter smiles sympathetically. “Of course not, you are innocent to this catastrophe, you may enter”
St. Peter calls for the third, but before he could open his mouth the person says “I think I will take the elevator down, I was the bug.”
Explanation of Changes and Why It Works (Hopefully!):
- Key Element Change: Instead of jealousy and physical violence, I used frustration and technological incompetence/accident as the driving force.
- Modernized Setting: Swapped the domestic setting and old-fashioned wardrobe for a programmer’s office and a computer system.
- Replaced Characters: Changed the husband, the running man, and the hidden man to a programmer, a streamer, and a computer bug.
- Maintained Structure: Kept the “three people arrive at heaven” format, with St. Peter questioning each.
- Twist Riff: The original joke’s punchline relies on the absurdity of someone being inside the wardrobe. I mirrored that with the absurdity of someone being the bug that caused the whole disaster. The unexpected person is the cause of all the problem.
- Humor Type: The humor is still based on surprise and situational irony. We expect a human to be involved, but the bug (the non-sentient piece of code) takes responsibility and adds an absurdity that is meant to mimic the first joke’s humor.
Hopefully, this hits the mark of a “Joke Poo” by using the source joke as a base and creating something new and (hopefully) funny from it.
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Joke Deconstruction:
- Setup: A husband misinterprets his wife’s lingerie, becomes enraged, tries to kill a perceived lover, and dies of a heart attack. Three men arrive at the Pearly Gates.
- Premise: St. Gabriel grants entry based on explanations of their deaths.
- Punchline: The third man reveals he was hiding in the wardrobe, making him complicit in the situation and twisting the previous justifications. The humor comes from the unexpected revelation and the immediate deflation of any perceived innocence.
Key Elements:
- Jealousy/Misunderstanding: The core engine driving the initial conflict.
- Divine Judgment/Pearly Gates Trope: The setting and framework for the joke.
- Unexpected Revelation/Twist: The core element of surprise and comedic payoff.
- Wardrobe: The unlikely weapon and hiding place, central to the narrative.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Let’s focus on the “Wardrobe” element.
Amusing “Did You Know?” & New Joke Structure:
Did you know? Wardrobes, or “armoires” as the fancy ones are called, evolved from chests! People originally just piled their clothes in boxes. Imagine that heavenly interrogation: “So, you were crushed by a cedar chest?”
New Joke:
- Setup: Three men are at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter approaches.
- St. Peter: “Alright, lads, tell me how you met your maker. First one?”
- Man 1: “Well, I was enjoying a nice bath when suddenly a piano fell through the ceiling and landed right on me!”
- St. Peter: “A piano? That’s terrible luck! Come on in.”
- St. Peter: “Second one?”
- Man 2: “I was jogging down the street when… a piano fell on me!”
- St. Peter: “Two piano deaths in a row? What are the odds! You may enter, poor soul.”
- St. Peter: “And you?”
- Man 3: “I… I was hiding in a piano.”
Why this works:
- Mirrors the structure of the original: Similar set-up, revelation.
- Plays on the unexpected: The choice of “piano” as a ridiculously improbable death scenario.
- Amplifies the absurdity: Two random piano deaths set the stage for the third to reveal his complicity, highlighting the dark humor.
- Connects to the ‘Wardrobe’ theme: Replaces the heavy, somewhat understandable wardrobe with an even more absurd hiding place – a piano.
It makes the death comical due to its incredibility, while highlighting the absurd placement of the 3rd man.
Alternatively, for a witty observation:
“You know, the joke about the wardrobe at the Pearly Gates really makes you think. It’s funny how often our attempts to hide in closets end up with us being in one, permanently.”
This plays on the double meaning of “closet” (both literal and metaphorical) and the irony of trying to conceal something only to have it define you, even after death.