One warm day, a stockbroker was on his way to a meeting when he saw a young girl selling lemonade by the side of the road. He pulled over and got out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit.
"Hey mister, you want some lemonade?” she called to him.
He was about to walk past her when he stopped and did a double take at the sign that said “Lemonade $50”.
“Your sign is wrong miss. I think you mean fifty cents,” he informed her.
The little girl shook her head, “Nope, fifty bucks mister. I need the money for Space Camp!”
The stockbroker paused for a minute, because, in his line of work, he appreciated a good hustle but he truly believed this young entrepreneur was going about it the wrong way.
“Look sweetie, I know you’re trying to make money but you have to charge what people are willing to pay. No one is going to pay that much for a tiny cup of lemonade. Now what do you think is a fair price?”
The girl beamed and said, “Fifty bucks mister!”
The stockbroker sighed and shook his head.
“Okay I’ll pass. You can’t make a profit when no one is willing to pay your asking price. Now do you have anything else for sale?”
“Homemade brownies, 50 cents!” she replied.
The stockbroker winced in frustration.
“I studied economics at Harvard and I got my MBA from Wharton so I’m going to teach you a little about business, okay? Now each of your little cups of lemonade probably costs you about fifty cents including the margin cost of your stand.”
He opened his wallet and took out a dollar.
“I’ll pay you ten times that much because I want to help you understand about mark-up.”
The little girl shook her head and smiled, “No thanks, mister. Fifty bucks please!”
“You know what? I give up. Take this dollar and I’m going to buy two of your brownies, I know you’re losing money on them, and I’m not going to buy a single cup of your overpriced lemonade. I’m trying to be nice and teach you about business but I guess this is the only way for you to learn a lesson.”
“OK,” she said, taking the dollar and putting two brownies on a plate. Just to make the point, the stockbroker decided to eat one of the brownies right in front of her. Suddenly he began coughing and gagging uncontrollably.
“Oh my God… what did you put in these?”
Grinning happily she told him, “It’s my special recipe! Eggs, flour, butter, cocoa, sawdust and goat pellets!”
“This is horrible! I have to get this taste out of my mouth!” said the stockbroker in disgust.
The girl produced a jar full of $50 bills, cocked her head to the side and said through a beaming grin, “You want some lemonade?”
Joke Poo: The Cost of Real Business
A seasoned plumber, old Sal, was driving his beat-up truck to a particularly nasty call when he saw a kid, about 10, sitting on a milk crate by a flooded curb, holding a fishing rod.
"Whatcha doin’, son?" Sal asked, rolling down his window.
"Fishin’," the kid replied matter-of-factly.
Sal chuckled, glancing at the murky, overflowing gutter. "Fishin’? In that water? Whatcha chargin’ for a catch?"
The kid held up a sign reading, "FISH: $200."
Sal nearly choked on his own spit. "Two hundred bucks?! You gotta be kiddin’ me. Ain’t nobody gonna pay that for gutter fish!"
The kid shrugged. "Got three so far."
Sal, always up for a challenge and smelling the familiar scent of backed-up sewage, pulled his truck over. "Look, kid, I’ve been a plumber for forty years. I know the value of things. That gutter probably ain’t seen nothin’ but runoff and…well, let’s just say leavings. You’re robbing people blind!"
He opened his wallet, pulled out a twenty, and held it out. "I’ll give you twenty bucks for one of your ‘fish’. Just to prove how ridiculous this is."
The kid looked at the twenty, then back at his rod. "Nah, not for sale."
Sal sighed, rubbing his temples. "Alright, alright. I respect the hustle. But you gotta be realistic. Nobody’s gonna pay that much."
"Someone will," the kid insisted.
"Okay, fine! Be stubborn. Do you have anything else for sale?" Sal asked with a huff.
"Yeah, fertilizer. Five bucks a bag."
Sal slammed his palm on the dashboard. "I studied plumbing and drain economics at the University of Plumbing Union Local 263! I’m gonna teach you something about margins! Now, do you even know what fertilizer IS?!"
He pulled out a ten. "Here, ten bucks. I’ll take two bags of fertilizer. You’re losing money on it, and I’m not going to buy your stupid ‘fish’. I’m trying to help you!"
The kid took the ten and handed over two surprisingly heavy burlap sacks. Sal, still fuming, tossed a bag into the truck bed and ripped open the other, expecting some standard garden mix. The smell hit him like a brick. He started retching, gagging, and spitting.
"What…what is this stuff?!" he gasped, wiping his mouth.
The kid grinned, pointing to a nearby manhole cover. "Oh, that’s the special blend! Recycled solids, mixed with grit from the drains, and a little something extra from Mrs. Higgins’ septic tank down the street!"
Sal was now fighting for air. "I need something to get this taste out of my mouth!"
The kid gestured to a bucket overflowing with hundred-dollar bills. “You want some fish?”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: The joke centers on a clash between conventional business wisdom (represented by the stockbroker) and a child’s unorthodox, yet ultimately successful, business strategy. It’s an inversion of expectations – the experienced businessman is outsmarted by a child.
- Key Elements:
- The Setup: Establishes the stockbroker’s credentials and wealth (BMW, Harvard/Wharton education). This sets up the expectation that he knows what he’s talking about.
- The Conflict: The outrageous price of the lemonade and the stockbroker’s attempts to ‘educate’ the girl.
- The Twist: The brownies containing disgusting ingredients. This reveals that the lemonade stand is a means to an end, not the end itself. The lemonade is overpriced to compensate for the hidden cost (brownie recipe).
- The Punchline: The revelation that the lemonade is the chaser for the horrific brownie. It justifies the pricing and completes the image of the girl as a successful, albeit unconventional, entrepreneur.
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s use this breakdown to create a new humorous piece. I’ll go for a "Did you know?"-style observation that plays on the joke’s themes of unusual ingredients and surprising market strategies:
"Did you know…?"
Did you know that in the cutthroat world of competitive lemonade stands, some entrepreneurs employ a "loss leader" strategy so aggressive, it involves deliberately making a complementary product so incredibly terrible that customers are practically forced to buy the overpriced beverage just to survive? It’s a bold move, but when you consider the alternative is choking down a brownie made with artisanal sawdust and a hint of goat happiness, suddenly $50 for lemonade seems like a steal. And, incidentally, it’s why regulatory bodies now require all brownies to come with a warning label: "May induce existential dread and an insatiable craving for citrus."
Explanation of the Enrichment:
- Tidbit Integration: It takes the idea of the terrible brownie ingredients (sawdust and goat pellets) and exaggerates it to create a more absurd and memorable image.
- Thematic Connection: It maintains the theme of unusual business practices and the reversal of expectations (the lemonade being the only palatable option).
- Comedic Delivery:
- The juxtaposition of business jargon ("loss leader strategy") with the ridiculous brownie ingredients creates humor.
- The escalation of the description, building to the existential dread comment, amplifies the absurdity.
- The mock warning label adds a final layer of satire, poking fun at regulatory overreach in a ludicrous situation.
In essence, I’ve taken a key element of the original joke (the absurd brownie ingredients/lemonade strategy), amplified it, and presented it as a pseudo-factual "did you know" to extend the humor and create a new laugh based on the same premise.