A man who recently visted the doctor was sitting around and waiting for a call with his results.
After a few days he gets a call from the doctor. Sounding a bit frantic the doctor tells the man he has some bad news for him, and some worse news.
The man says "Well, whats the bad news?"
The doctor says "We ran your tests and you only have a day left to live…"
The man, freaking out over this news begins yelling and cursing. After, he calms down enough to demand the worse news.
There's a short pause on the phone and finally the doctor says "The worse news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
Joke Poo: The Delivery
An astronaut was orbiting Earth, awaiting a crucial message from mission control.
After days of radio silence, a garbled transmission crackled through. Sounding extremely stressed, a controller told the astronaut he had some bad news, and some worse news.
The astronaut, his heart pounding, said, "Well, what’s the bad news?"
The controller said, "We’ve analyzed your trajectory. You’re out of fuel and will drift aimlessly through space for eternity…"
The astronaut, panicking, started yelling about his lost mission and his inevitable doom. After a minute, he calmed down enough to demand the worse news.
There was a long pause filled with static. Finally, the controller said, "The worse news is, we already delivered your pizza yesterday."
Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gems we can unearth.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A man awaits test results from his doctor, setting up anticipation and anxiety.
- Bad News: The doctor delivers the devastating news of imminent death. This is the initial punchline, a dramatic and upsetting reveal.
- Worse News: The anticipation is built up again for even worse news, increasing the tension.
- Punchline: The "worse news" is that the doctor forgot to deliver the terminal diagnosis yesterday. This is a comedic subversion. It shifts the focus from the gravity of the disease to the doctor’s incompetence and creates a dark, absurd humor.
- Humor Type: Dark humor, irony, surprise. It’s funny because it trivializes a grave situation.
Key Elements:
- Doctor: A figure of authority and competence (which is subverted).
- Diagnosis: A serious, life-altering medical pronouncement.
- Time Sensitivity: The urgency of a terminal illness adds to the stress.
- Incompetence/Forgetfulness: The incongruous "worse news" hinges on the doctor’s unprofessional behavior.
Comedic Enrichment & New Jokes:
Let’s leverage the "doctor’s incompetence" angle, along with a little dose of reality, to craft something new.
Approach 1: Observational Humor/Witty Observation
You know, the really scary thing about getting a terminal diagnosis isn’t the impending death. It’s realizing your doctor might be using WebMD to confirm it. "Huh, rare rash and existential dread? Yep, checks out. Two weeks, tops."
Why it works: Plays on the (sometimes justified) public perception of medical professionals relying on easily accessible, but potentially unreliable sources. Connects to the original joke by focusing on the fallibility of the doctor.
Approach 2: New Joke (Playing on "Worse News")
Patient: Doctor, what’s the good news and bad news?
Doctor: The good news is that I’ve cured your colorblindness.
Patient: Great! What’s the bad news?
Doctor: Turns out your surgeon was a terrible interior decorator.
Why it works: Follows the structure of the original joke. Uses the "good news/bad news" format, and delivers the punchline by subverting expectations and focusing on the unexpected (a doctor’s bad taste).
Approach 3: "Did You Know" with a Twist (Dark Humor)
Did you know: Medical errors are a leading cause of death in the United States? Some studies even suggest they rank third, behind heart disease and cancer. The silver lining? If your doctor messes up, you’re automatically on their "priority call back" list…for a while, anyway.
Why it works: Takes a serious (and somewhat grim) real-world fact and gives it a dark, ironic spin that connects to the original joke’s theme of medical incompetence.
Hopefully, this breakdown and new humor meet your expectations. Let me know if you would like to explore other aspects or elements of the original joke for comedic expansion.