One day, a cowherd was thinking to himself:
"Hmm… why don’t I try putting my genitals into the new machine I just bought that milks the cows? That way it can milk me too, instead of me always having to do it myself."
And so—plop—he puts it in.
But then, the machine wouldn’t stop! He presses the start button once more trying to stop it. Nothing happens.
Worried, he grabs his phone, calls the company, and asks the young woman who answered how to locate the shut down button.
And she replies:
“No worries Sir, it shuts off by itself after it gets 2 liters!"
Joke Poo: The Squirrel and the Nut Grinder
A park ranger was thinking to himself: “Hmm… why don’t I try putting my nuts into the new industrial-strength nut grinder we just got? That way it can crack them perfectly, instead of me always having to do it myself with a hammer.”
And so – plop – he puts them in.
But then, the machine wouldn’t stop! He frantically flips the power switch trying to shut it down. Nothing happens.
Panicked, he grabs his radio, calls the park headquarters, and asks the grizzled veteran who answered how to locate the emergency stop.
And the veteran replies: “No worries son, it stops automatically when it senses a squirrel stealing the final nut!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke.
Key Elements:
- The Setup: A farmer, lazy and/or curious, wants to use his cow-milking machine on himself.
- The Escalation: He gets his “equipment” stuck. The machine malfunctions and won’t stop.
- The Punchline: The machine has a specific volume shut-off point. The implication is that the farmer will be involuntarily relieved of an uncomfortable amount of fluid.
- The Taboo: The humor relies heavily on the awkwardness and unexpectedness of using farm equipment in a sexual/bodily function context.
- The Irony: The machine, designed to extract milk (a life-giving substance), is now extracting something else entirely, creating a situation of uncomfortable and potentially painful bodily deflation.
- The Innocent Bystander: The customer service person is unaware of the true nature of the situation, leading to a misunderstanding that fuels the humor.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor Creation:
Let’s focus on the “2 Liters” punchline. We can explore the absurdity of specific quantities and their impact.
Did You Know? (Witty Observation/Joke Setup)
Did you know the average human male holds only about 1/2 a liter of seminal fluid in reserve? Our hapless farmer’s predicament makes me wonder if the milking machine company should probably offer a personal model with finer volume control. Perhaps one that measures in metric ounces. They could market it to a niche audience, say…competitive swimmers.
New Joke:
A tech startup is developing a revolutionary new device for personalized health and wellness. It’s a biofeedback system that uses gentle suction to, uh, “optimize fluid balance.” The prototype was initially tested in dairy farms. The marketing tagline? “Milking your potential…one liter at a time!”
Playing on the Irony:
The real tragedy? All that “milk” probably voided the machine’s warranty. The farmer’s going to be udderly disappointed.
Playing on the Innocent Bystander:
The woman on the phone probably had no idea she was about to become a recurring character in someone’s deeply strange fantasy. You know what they say, customer service: fulfilling dreams, one phone call at a time.