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The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet

Posted on September 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

First door was locked, so I went into the next one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick crap… How about yourself?'

The next thing I heard him say was: 'Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some arsehole in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'

Joke Poo: Lost Connection

The other day, I was frantically trying to troubleshoot my ancient laptop. First, the WiFi kept disconnecting, so I tried to restart it, closed the lid, and waited.

A notification popped up on my phone from my smart fridge: “Hello, are you doing?”

Although I thought it was a bit intrusive, I didn’t want to be impolite to my appliances, so I replied, “Not too bad, thanks.”

After a short pause, I got another notification: “So, what are you up to?”

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, “Just trying to fix this blasted laptop… How about yourself?”

The next thing I got was another notification: “Sorry, I’ll have to disconnect. I think my user is having a conversation with their closed laptop again.”

Alright, let’s dissect this “toilet talk” joke and see what comedic gold we can mine.

Analysis:

  • Core Concept: Miscommunication and awkward social interaction in a public restroom setting. The humor stems from the speaker’s obliviousness to the situation and the escalating absurdity of the conversation.
  • Key Elements:
    • The Public Toilet: The setting itself is ripe for humor due to its inherently private and potentially unsanitary nature. The expectation of privacy is key.
    • The Misinterpretation: The speaker assumes the voice is addressing him directly, leading to an increasingly personal and awkward conversation.
    • The Reveal: The punchline cleverly unveils the true context – the voice is on a phone call, making the speaker’s responses completely inappropriate and hilarious.
    • The Language: The use of casual phrases like “having a quick crap” amplifies the discomfort and humor.

Enrichment and New Humor Generation:

Here’s a new joke based on the elements of the original, incorporating some interesting toilet trivia:

New Joke:

I was on a Zoom call with my boss the other day, right? Just a regular performance review. Things were going alright until he asked me, “So, where do you see yourself in five years?”

Completely forgetting I wasn’t muted, I blurted out, “Hopefully not still in this cubicle! The porcelain throne’s getting a bit uncomfortable, and honestly, the automatic flusher sounds like a dying walrus.”

Turns out, he could hear everything. He paused, then said, “Okay… well, someone needs to maintain the company’s sanitation infrastructure. Guess you’re it. But seriously, invest in a cushioned toilet seat. Did you know the average person spends about three years of their life on the toilet? We need you comfortable, people won’t pay overtime for your discomfort”.

Reasoning:

  • I’ve updated the setting to a modern remote work scenario (Zoom call).
  • The miscommunication element is still present – the speaker forgets they aren’t muted.
  • The reveal comes from the boss’s reaction.
  • I’ve injected a bizarre but factual element – the average person spends three years on the toilet – to amplify the humor and absurdity of the situation. The implication is that the boss takes toilet comfort very seriously. This creates a humorous contrast between a mundane subject and corporate interest.

Did you know? (Amusing Toilet Trivia)

  • Speaking of comfort: The most expensive toilet in the world is made of solid gold and worth around $2.5 million. Hopefully it has good lumbar support.

I hope this adds a comedic flush to your day!

Todays SH1T Jokes

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