A pretty young woman wants an unusual pet. She goes to an exotic pet store and asks the man if he has any pets that would be unique and interesting. He shows her tarantulas, scorpions, snakes, lizards of all sorts but she doesn’t want them because her friends have them. She tells him she wants a pet no one else has.
He thinks a minute and says he has just the pet for her. He disappears into the back room and comes out with a little box. She’s excited and intrigued, and he opens the box and takes a frog out. She looks at him and says, that’s just a frog!
No, he says, this is a special frog. This is the only frog in the world that can eat pussy! She thought, that is unique and interesting. So she bought the frog, food, aquarium, etc. and took it all home. She gets everything set up and then puts the frog in the tank. She’s happy to have a new interesting pet.
A few hours later, just watching the frog do nothing, she starts wondering if she’s been ripped off. So she takes her panties off from under her skirt, then takes the frog out of the tank. She sits on the floor and places the frog between her legs. The frog just sits there doing nothing. She is livid, tosses the frog in the box and storms down to the pet store.
She stomps through the door and up to the counter of the store. Slams the box on top and yells. You ripped me off you son of a bitch! The man holds up his hands, whoa, whoa, what do you mean? This frog doesn’t eat pussy, it does absolutely nothing! She says. He asks, are you sure? The woman takes the box, sits in the floor and places the frog between her legs. The frog just sits there.
The man shakes his head and walks around the counter. He gets on his hands and knees and looks at the frog. He says, Now, I’m going to show you this, one more time…
Joke Poo: The IT Department
A frustrated middle manager wants a tech solution that will solve all her problems. She goes to the IT department and asks the lead programmer if he has any software that would be truly unique and effective. He shows her CRM packages, project management tools, and AI-powered analytics dashboards, but she dismisses them – her colleagues are already using them. She insists she wants a program no one else has.
He thinks for a minute and says he has just the thing for her. He disappears into the server room and comes out with a flash drive. She’s excited and intrigued, and he plugs the flash drive into her laptop, installs the program, and launches it. She sees a blank command line interface with a single prompt. She looks at him and says, “That’s just a command prompt!”
“No,” he says, “This is a special program. This is the only program in the world that can write code!” She thought, that is unique and interesting. So she bought the license, the premium support package, the training manuals, etc., and takes it all back to her office. She gets everything set up and then starts the program. She’s happy to have a new, groundbreaking tool.
A few hours later, after watching the command prompt just blink, she starts wondering if she’s been conned. So she opens a coding text editor and copy pastes a simple function, then takes the command prompt. She sits at her desk and enters the command to execute that function. The program just sits there doing nothing. She is livid, unplugs the flash drive, and storms back down to the IT department.
She barges through the door and up to the programmer’s desk. Slams the flash drive down and yells, “You ripped me off, you liar! This program doesn’t write code, it does absolutely nothing!” He holds up his hands, “Whoa, whoa, what do you mean? Are you sure?” The woman picks up the flash drive, goes back to her desk, sits at her desk and tries another function, enters the command to execute that function. The program just sits there.
The programmer shakes his head and walks to her desk. He gets on his hands and knees, leans close to the screen and squints at the command line. He types, “Now, I’m going to show you this, one more time… sudo“
Okay, let’s dissect this joke.
Key Elements:
- The Setup: A woman seeks a unique pet. Pet store offers exotic animals, but she wants something truly special.
- The Misdirection: The punchline hinges on the dual meaning of “eat pussy.” The woman assumes a literal act, while the pet store owner… well, we assume he means something else.
- The Escalation: The woman’s frustration builds as the frog remains inactive. Her confronting the pet store owner creates the setting for the final punchline.
- The Punchline: The owner getting on his knees and demonstrating implies a sexual act.
Now, let’s create some comedic enrichment:
1. Amusing “Did You Know?” related to the joke’s themes of unique pets and amphibians:
“Did you know that the Axolotl, a type of salamander native to Mexico, can regenerate entire limbs, spinal cords, and even parts of their brains? Which is more than can be said for the social skills of certain pet store employees trying to upsell you on ‘unique’ amphibians.”
2. A new joke structure based on the original:
A man walks into a bakery. “I need a cake for my anniversary,” he says. “Something really special, something unforgettable.”
The baker says, “I’ve got just the thing. It’s an incredibly rare cake; the only one in the world that can… solve quadratic equations!”
Intrigued, the man buys the cake, rushes home, and presents it to his wife. She stares at it blankly.
“Well, go on!” he urges. “Ask it to solve a quadratic equation!”
His wife sighs, “Okay, cake. Solve 3x² + 5x – 2 = 0.”
The cake sits there, frosting undisturbed.
Furious, the man storms back to the bakery. “That cake is a fraud! It can’t solve anything!”
The baker calmly walks over to the cake, gets down on his knees, and says, “Alright, now pay attention. This time, I’m going to show you exactly how to use the quadratic formula…”
3. A Witty Observation:
“The real tragedy isn’t that the woman was tricked, but that she was so desperate for a unique pet that she believed anything the pet store owner told her. This is why it’s important to research your exotic pets, and not just take the word of the guy who also sells ‘self-cleaning’ fish tanks.”