The examiner, terrified of his father, asks him:
"First question: What is 1 + 1?"
"Eleven!" yells the rookie.
"Well, the correct answer is 2, but there's a logic with which your answer is also correct, so let's say you passed. Name two days!"
"Yesterday and today!" comes the answer.
"I mean, we were thinking about the days of the week, but still, these answers are correct by a certain logic, so you passed. Last question: Who shot Abraham Lincoln?"
Silence, the rookie does not know the answer. The examiner says:
"So, since you had such good answers for the first two questions, go home, think about the question, and come here tomorrow with an answer."
The boy goes home, where his father asks:
"How did it go, did you pass?"
"Better yet, I already got a cold case assigned to me from Homicide."
Joke Poo: The Software Engineer’s Performance Review
The CEO’s nephew is having his annual performance review at the tech company. The head of Engineering, sweating bullets, asks him:
"First question: What is the Big O notation of adding an element to a hash table?"
"O(n log n)!" blurts the nephew.
"Well, technically it’s O(1) on average, but under certain very specific, improbable collision scenarios you could argue for O(n log n) and that you had the foresight to see a potential vulnerability, so… let’s say you met expectations. Next: Name two programming languages!"
"Binary and Assembly!" comes the answer.
"We were thinking Java and Python, but, technically, you did name programming languages, and they are quite foundational and critical! So, yes, you met expectations. Last question: What caused the infamous ‘Heartbleed’ vulnerability?"
Silence. The nephew doesn’t know. The Engineering head says:
"Given your insightful answers to the first two questions, go home, research the question thoroughly, and come back tomorrow with an answer that shows initiative."
The boy goes home, where his uncle, the CEO, asks:
"How’d it go? Did you get a good review?"
"Even better! They want me to lead a team to investigate historical zero-day exploits!"
Alright, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic ingredients we can play with.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Humor: The joke hinges on the incompetence of the police chief’s son being overlooked due to the examiner’s fear of the father. It’s an exaggeration of nepotism and the pressure of authority.
- Key Elements:
- Nepotism: The underlying driver of the situation.
- Incompetence: The son is clearly ill-prepared for the police academy.
- Fear of Authority: The examiner is petrified of the police chief’s influence.
- Misinterpretation/Loose Logic: The son provides answers that, while technically defensible, are clearly not what was intended.
- Cold Case Paradox: The final punchline twists the incompetence, suggesting it’s elevated the son to a detective role.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the "cold case" aspect and build on it with some true crime related humor.
New Joke/Observation:
"So, the Police Chief’s son finally closed his first cold case. Turns out, Abraham Lincoln had way more enemies on Facebook than he initially thought. The digital forensic analysis? ‘Someone liked a post that mentioned Booth, therefore, co-conspirator!’ The Chief was so proud, he promoted the kid to head of the unsolved historical mysteries division. Their first case? Figuring out who really ordered the McRib."
Why it works:
- Builds on the original: It uses the "Abraham Lincoln" punchline from the initial joke and extends it.
- Uses Modern Crime Fighting tropes: Bringing in digital forensics adds a contemporary twist and highlights the absurdity of applying modern techniques to historical events.
- Parodies Cold Case Solves: Many cold cases are solved thanks to advancement in technology, like DNA analysis. So the joke plays on the idea that the son’s incompetence still manages to solve the case.
- Ridiculous Expansion: Escalating from Lincoln’s assassination to the origin of the McRib emphasizes the over-the-top nature of the son’s promotions.
- Relatable & Topical: The McRib is a well-known and often missed fast food item, instantly making the humor relatable to a wider audience.