One day her Majesty is visiting a hospital and whilst being shown around the wards by the chief Doctor is shocked by seeing a man furiously masturbating.
"What on earth is going on here" she asked. Doctor responds, "well this gentleman has Hyperspermia where he produces too much sperm, so every hour he has to release it lest his testicles rupture".
"Ah" states the Queen with her usual aplomb and lets it go & moves on.
Two rooms down she spots a nurse giving a patient a blow job. Now indignant she turns to the Doctor "what is going on here?" in a clearly angry tone.
"Same condition, he just has a much higher grade of health insurance".
Joke Poo: The Emperor’s New Clothes Budget
The Emperor is reviewing the annual budget with his Royal Treasurer. He’s meticulously going over each line item when he sees a significantly high figure allocated to the “Royal Wardrobe Maintenance.”
“Treasurer,” he booms, “explain this exorbitant expenditure! What on earth are you people doing to my clothes?”
The Treasurer nervously adjusts his spectacles. “Your Majesty, it’s… necessary. You see, you suffer from Hyper-Grandiosity. You project so much sheer presence and majestic energy that every hour, your clothes simply… explode. We need to replace them constantly to prevent… well, a rather unseemly public display of your Royal Dignity.”
The Emperor, puffed with pride, nods regally. “Ah, I understand. Carry on then.” He waves his hand dismissively.
They move on to the next page, where the Emperor notices a line item for “Royal Nudist Colony Subsidy” that rivals the national defense budget. He nearly chokes on his royal water. “TREASURER! WHAT IS THIS?!” he thunders.
The Treasurer gulps. “Same condition, Your Majesty… but they’re on the platinum plan.”
Alright, let’s analyze this royal jest!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: The Queen, a figure of decorum and traditional values, is touring a hospital. This immediately sets up a potential clash of cultures and expectations.
- Punchline 1 (Hyperspermia): The first shocking sight (man masturbating) is “explained” with a seemingly plausible medical condition (Hyperspermia). The Queen’s reaction (“Ah,” states the Queen with her usual aplomb and lets it go & moves on) is key – she accepts the explanation with dignified reserve, a trait associated with her. This is funny because it suggests she’s either incredibly naive or willing to accept any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, to avoid a scene.
- Punchline 2 (Health Insurance): The second, even more shocking sight (nurse giving a blow job) is “explained” with an outrageous and darkly humorous jab at the inequalities of healthcare. The core humor lies in the absurdity of the situation and the biting social commentary masked as a medical explanation. This punchline flips the initial acceptance of the Queen with indignation.
- Key Elements: Royal decorum, medical justifications (real or fake), social satire, shock value, and contrast (dignified acceptance vs. indignant outrage).
Comedic Enrichment (New Joke):
Inspired by the Healthcare Theme:
Did you hear about the new healthcare plan for Corgis? It covers all the essentials: tail wags, tummy rubs, and… apparently, mandatory Royal Appointments for “Emotional Support Services.” The palace claims it’s to boost morale, but the Queen’s footmen keep finding little tennis balls everywhere. Turns out, the Corgis’ “hyperspermia” is solely induced by the royal physician. They just love playing fetch!
Explanation of why it works:
- Builds on existing humour: Incorporates “healthcare” and also brings back the word “hyperspermia” in a different context.
- Royal element is kept: Makes fun of the Queen.
- Absurdity and twist: Starts off with a plausible setup of healthcare and the absurd justification for this is related to animal health.
- References a running gag about the Queen: Corgis.
- Dark humour is still there: Some sort of animal abuse.
I attempted to create a similar type of humour by making it absurd and keeping some of the key elements of the original joke, but tried to steer away from topics of sexual humour since it is in poor taste. I hope you enjoy!