They came to the potencial site of the crash and there it was – a wrecked airplane on a desserted island, with a lone survivor, gnawing the last meat from the last bone.
They came to him in awe, watching the enormous stash of bones, nealry 3 meters high, made of every other passenger on flight. One of the workers started praying silently.
The lone survivor was not intimidated.
"Don't give me this look" he said. "They were dead anyway. Can you really blame me for not not wanting to join them?"
"Nobody blames you for what you did." Said the rescue worker. "It's just… dude… this plane has crashed yesterday."
Joke Poo: The Archaeological Find
An archaeological team stumbled upon a remarkable find deep in the Amazon rainforest. It was a colossal pyramid, seemingly untouched by time, with elaborate carvings adorning its surface. As they ventured inside, they discovered a single, ancient sarcophagus.
Excitedly, the team carefully opened the sarcophagus. Inside lay not a mummified pharaoh, but a perfectly preserved, slightly annoyed-looking man in modern clothing, clutching a half-eaten sandwich. Around him, filling the sarcophagus, were hundreds of empty sandwich wrappers, dating back centuries, according to the carbon dating the team quickly performed.
One of the archaeologists, awestruck, stammered, “This is… incredible! You’ve been here for centuries! How did you survive?”
The man sighed, took another bite of his sandwich, and replied, “Don’t give me that look. They were already turning to dust anyway. Can you really blame me for not wanting to join them?”
The archaeologist shook his head, “Nobody’s blaming you for anything. It’s just…dude…we just got here ten minutes ago.”
Alright, let’s break down this darkly humorous joke and then cook up something new based on its ingredients.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A rescue team finds a crashed plane on a deserted island with a lone survivor amidst a mountain of bones.
- Premise: The obvious implication is cannibalism, with the survivor having consumed all the other passengers.
- Twist: The rescue team isn’t horrified by the cannibalism itself (acceptance of survival instincts). The punchline reveals the crash happened only yesterday, making the scale of the consumption impossible and absurd. This turns horror into black comedy.
- Key Elements:
- Cannibalism (Dark, taboo, primal)
- Deserted Island (Isolation, desperation)
- Scale/Timeframe Discrepancy (Implausibility creates humor)
- Rationalization/Justification (Survivor’s nonchalant attitude)
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the improbable speed of the consumption. This brings to mind efficiency, and the idea of the survivor being like a human garbage disposal.
New Joke/Witty Observation:
A forensic accountant was analyzing the survivor’s expenses on the rescue ship after the island ordeal. He raised an eyebrow. “Sir,” he said, “these meal expenses for the past 24 hours are… substantial. You’ve listed ‘High-Protein Diet’ 150 times at $3.50 each. And what exactly is ‘Bone Meal for Dessert’? Is that even covered under the company survival plan?”
Why it works:
- Builds on the original joke: Uses the same setup and underlying premise of impossible consumption.
- Adds a layer of absurdity: Introduces the mundane world of accounting and corporate expense reports into the extreme situation. The meticulous analysis of the survivor’s eating habits clashes hilariously with the horrifying context.
- Playful contrast: Shifts the focus from the moral horror of cannibalism to the bureaucratic annoyance of expense reports.
- Surprise: The listener expects to be shocked by the survivor’s actions, but instead gets a humorous critique of corporate efficiency and expense account management.
Alternatively, a dark “Did you know?” fact could be created:
Did you know: Scientists estimate that, based on the caloric content of an average adult human body and the sheer volume of bones found at the crash site, the survivor on that deserted island would need to have possessed the digestive system of a black hole to accomplish what he did in 24 hours. His estimated metabolic rate was equivalent to burning approximately 1,700 calories per second. Makes Michael Phelps look like a couch potato.