A Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, and he asks the biker his name.
"Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades."
"When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a regular doctor, so I decided to go back to school."
"Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."
"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."
"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD."
"Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am just Fred."
The officer walked back to his car, laughing, and drove away without a word.
Joke Poo: The Corporate Merger
A frustrated consultant is pulled over for driving erratically late at night, and the officer asks for her name.
“Brenda,” she sighs.
“Brenda what?” the officer asks, already reaching for his notepad.
“Just Brenda,” she replies wearily.
The officer, thinking she might be drunk or on something, presses for her last name anyway.
The woman explains she used to have one, but it’s…complicated.
The officer, intrigued, says, “Tell me, Brenda, how did you lose your last name?”
The consultant replies, “It’s a long story, so buckle up. I started as Brenda Miller. I worked my tail off, climbed the ladder, and became a Senior Associate at a prestigious firm, so I was Brenda Miller, SA.”
“Then, a smaller company, Acme Corp, acquired our firm. I got a promotion and a fancy new title, so I became Brenda Miller, SA, of Acme Corp.”
“A few years later, Acme merged with Global Industries! I had to update my business cards again, so I was Brenda Miller, SA, of Acme Corp, a subsidiary of Global Industries.”
“But then the CEO of Global Industries got caught embezzling, and the entire company was rebranded. We became ‘Synergy Solutions,’ so I became Brenda Miller, SA, of Acme Corp, a subsidiary of Synergy Solutions.”
“After that, Synergy Solutions was bought out by a venture capital group! They stripped everything down and restructured us into ‘Brand X Solutions,’ so then I was Brenda Miller, SA, of Acme Corp, a subsidiary of Brand X Solutions.”
“Finally, last week, the VC firm decided the Brand X name was too bland. They held a company-wide contest to come up with a new name. The winning submission? ‘Brenda!'”
“So now,” she concludes, “I’m just Brenda.”
The officer stared at her for a long moment, shook his head, and said, “Ma’am, please drive more carefully. And maybe take a vacation.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build some comedic gold from it.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Setup: A traffic stop, a cop with a lenient mood, and a biker with a mysterious lack of a last name.
- Punchline Mechanism: A long, winding, self-deprecating story culminating in a pun (VD taking away “Johnson”).
- Humor Elements:
- Absurdity: The series of escalating events leading to the name loss is increasingly improbable and funny.
- Wordplay: The pun at the end is the crucial element, relying on the double meaning of “Johnson.”
- Irony: The biker’s pursuit of higher education and professional success ultimately leads to his downfall.
- Dark Humor: The VD and the loss of his namesake are somewhat uncomfortable subjects made funny by the delivery and context.
Key Elements to Exploit:
- The Name “Johnson”: This is the linchpin of the pun.
- The Alphabet Soup of Credentials: MD, DDS, VD.
- The Harley Biker Stereotype: Rough exterior hiding (in this case) a bizarre past.
Comedic Enrichment Ideas:
1. A New Joke:
A pirate walks into a doctor’s office with a steering wheel stuck in his pants.
The doctor says, “Arrgh, I see you’ve got scurvy.”
The pirate replies, “Aye, and it’s driving me nuts!”Humor Elements:
- Puns: Both the doctor’s diagnosis and the pirate’s response are puns.
- Stereotype: It plays on the well-worn image of pirates.
- Absurdity: The situation is ridiculous and visually amusing.
2. A Witty Observation/Fun Fact:
“Did you know that the average American will change careers 5-7 times in their lifetime? Clearly, none of them are named Johnson. I guess that’s how they keep things fresh!”
- Humor Element: Juxtaposes the statistic with the extreme career changes of “Fred Johnson,” creating irony.
- Factual Basis: The statistic about career changes is generally accurate.
- Witty Observation: Creates a comical connection between career changes and the preservation of names, humorously suggesting it’s necessary to keep your name from becoming associated with VD.
3. “I Have Another Joke About V.D.”
Q: What do you call a guy with no body and no nose?
A: Nobody knows!
Humor Elements:
- Puns: The pun at the end is the crucial element.
- Dark Humor: The VD and the loss of body parts are somewhat uncomfortable subjects made funny by the delivery and context.
4. A Darker Joke:
A man walks into a doctor’s office and asks for a vasectomy. The doctor replies, “Why do you want a vasectomy?”
The man responds, “Well, I don’t want any more kids.”
The doctor asks, “How many kids do you have?”
The man says, “Twelve.”
The doctor asks, “Well, why didn’t you just stop after one?”
The man says, “I did, but she wasn’t pleased.”
Humor Elements:
- Dark Humor: The joke contains subject matter that might be seen as crude.
- Puns: The pun at the end is the punchline.
- Stereotype: The stereotype is the man doesn’t listen to the woman.
The “Fred Johnson” joke is a masterclass in building a narrative towards a strong, albeit slightly crude, pun. By isolating these elements, we can build new jokes or observations that, while not necessarily as elaborate, tap into the same vein of humor – absurdity, irony, and unexpected wordplay.