A stingy old man was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you when you die.” After much thought, he finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was to reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased man’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, comes upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash. “Oh, that old fool,” she exclaims. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
Joke Poo: The Pet Cemetery
Original Joke:
There is a special place A stingy old man was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you when you die.” After much thought, he finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was to reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased man’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, comes upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash. “Oh, that old fool,” she exclaims. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
Joke Poo: The Pet Cemetery
A hopelessly sentimental woman loved her prize-winning Persian cat, Mr. Fluffernutter, more than life itself. When Mr. Fluffernutter sadly passed away, she was determined to keep him as close as possible, even in death. She’d heard stories about ancient Egyptians and their pets, and decided she too would give Mr. Fluffernutter the royal treatment.
She had him professionally taxidermied in a lifelike pose, wearing his favorite tiny bow tie. Then, she instructed her gardener to bury him in a custom-built, miniature sarcophagus in the pet cemetery at the back of her estate, nestled amongst the pampered goldfish and hamsters of yesteryear. A solar-powered spotlight illuminated his grave every night. Her plan was that his spirit could enjoy the fresh air and quiet surroundings forever.
A year later, while overseeing some landscaping, she stumbled upon a groundskeeper unearthing Mr. Fluffernutter’s sarcophagus. “What are you doing?!” she shrieked.
The groundskeeper, covered in dirt, replied sheepishly, “Sorry, ma’am, I was just following your instructions. You said to bury him here, so I assumed you wanted to use the good fertilizer! The other plants have really improved!”
Alright, let’s analyze this stingy old man joke!
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: An old, stingy man is obsessed with taking his money with him when he dies, defying the common saying.
- Setup: He instructs his wife to withdraw a large sum of money and place it in pillowcases in the attic, directly above his bed, believing he can grab it on his way to heaven.
- Punchline: The wife, after his death, finds the forgotten money and laments that she should have stored it in the basement.
- Humor Source: Irony and the wife’s own self-serving greed. The man’s elaborate plan is foiled not by death itself, but by simple forgetfulness and the implication that the wife has plans of her own for the cash. It’s funny because it highlights both the absurdity of extreme greed and the inherent self-interest in human nature.
Key Elements:
- Stinginess/Greed: The man’s defining characteristic.
- The Afterlife/Heaven: The destination he’s supposedly heading to.
- The Wife: An accomplice (initially) and ultimately the beneficiary (or would-be beneficiary) of the money.
- The Pillowcases: A tangible representation of the wealth and the absurd method of transporting it to the afterlife.
- Attic vs. Basement: A seemingly trivial detail that delivers the final punch.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the afterlife aspect and its historical interpretations to craft something new:
New Observation:
“You know, the old man’s afterlife plan wasn’t entirely unfounded. In ancient Egypt, they actually did bury people with their belongings, hoping to use them in the next world. Of course, they didn’t shove it all in pillowcases. They preferred intricately decorated sarcophagi, which I guess is the ancient equivalent of a Swiss bank account… only less discreet, and more likely to attract tomb raiders than interest rates.”
“Did You Know” Humor:
“Did you know that the phrase ‘You can’t take it with you’ is a surprisingly recent invention? It’s popularized by the play of the same name by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart in 1936. Before that, people were way more optimistic about bringing their baggage into the afterlife. Maybe the old man should have consulted with a historical re-enactor before settling on the pillowcase plan. He could’ve gone full Viking and requested a ship burial… though that might have made the wife a little suspicious.”
Explanation of the Enrichment:
- The “New Observation” uses the premise of the joke (attempting to take wealth into the afterlife) but connects it to actual historical practices (Egyptian burials). The comparison of a sarcophagus to a Swiss bank account provides a modern and ironic twist.
- The “Did You Know” focuses on the origin of the common saying. This reframes the joke within a historical and cultural context. Then, it goes back to the original topic with a twist. The Viking burial brings some additional absurdity.