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Fake Poo

There’s an old army veteran living in the public toilets at my local park.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Apparently, he used to be a colonel, but now he's just a loo tenant.

Okay, here’s a new joke based on your original, attempting to maintain a similar comedic structure and surprise twist:

Joke Poo: The Data Center Dropout

There’s a former Wall Street trader living in the server room of a defunct data center.

Apparently, he used to be a high-frequency whiz, but now he’s just a low-latency squatter.

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something funny on top of it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: An army veteran lives in the public toilets of a park. This creates a juxtaposition of dignity and hardship, setting up an expectation of a serious or poignant tale.
  • Punchline: “Apparently, he used to be a colonel, but now he’s just a loo tenant.” This is a pun, playing on the similarity in sound between “lieutenant” (a military rank) and “loo tenant” (a resident of a toilet, or “loo” in British slang).
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor relies on wordplay (the pun) and incongruity (the contrast between the veteran’s former high rank and his current, undignified situation). The unexpected pun deflates the serious tone set up in the beginning.

Key Elements:

  1. Military Rank: Colonel
  2. Living Situation: Public Toilets (Loo)
  3. Wordplay: Lieutenant/Loo Tenant
  4. Incongruity: High rank vs. Low status

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s use these elements to create a new joke/observation:

Approach 1: Playing on the military bureaucracy:

“I tried to report the ‘loo tenant’ situation to the Veteran’s Affairs office. They said they couldn’t help him because he was ‘off the grid’ and ‘not officially listed as a housing unit’. Apparently, even the army red tape couldn’t have predicted a Colonel falling this far from grace. I guess he went from leading troops to leading… drips.”

Approach 2: A “Did You Know” with a Twist:

“Did you know that the official rank of a Colonel is derived from the Italian word ‘colonnello’, meaning ‘leader of a column’? Well, this particular Colonel leads a different kind of column now… the porcelain one. I heard he even decorates his stall with medals. It’s the only place he can be truly decorated, you know, where no one can say he isn’t in command of his own… throne.”

Approach 3: Dark Humour Twist

I heard the local council are trying to evict the loo-tenant colonel. Apparently, he’s squatting. The council are threatening to send in the ‘plungers’, but the loo-tenant, ever the military tactician, has prepared a counter offensive with a battalion of air fresheners. It’s going to be a stinky battle for sure.

Explanation of the New Humor:

  • Approach 1: This one satirizes bureaucratic inefficiency and the disconnect between grand titles and actual support for veterans.
  • Approach 2: This approach uses the trivia (the etymology of “Colonel”) as a setup to heighten the contrast between what a Colonel should be and the reality of the joke.
  • Approach 3: This turns the dire situation into an imagined battle, using military jargon.

These new jokes/observations build upon the original by:

  • Extending the wordplay and pun potential
  • Exploring the themes of rank, duty, and hardship in new, absurd ways.
  • Adding a layer of social commentary (bureaucracy, veteran support) for a bit more depth.

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