…so she goes to the town doctor.
Doctor looks her over and tells her "Ma'am, you got crabs."
"That's impossible," she says "I'm a virgin! I want a second opinion." So she goes to the next town and tries another doctor.
"Lady, you got crabs." The second doc tells her.
"Quacks! Quacks all of you! I tell you I have never known the touch of a man! Your diagnosis is impossible."
So she tries again, goes to the big city this time to a big hospital. The doctor there examines her and invites her to his office for a chat.
"Don't tell me it's crabs Doctor, I know it's not crabs!"
"Nope," the doc tells her, "it's fruit flies. Your cherry has rotten away."
Joke Poo: The Used Car Salesman
A slick used car salesman starts feeling a rattle under the hood…
…so he takes his car to the best mechanic in town.
The mechanic checks it out and says, “Buddy, you’ve got Gremlins living in your engine.”
“That’s impossible!” the salesman exclaims. “I only put premium fuel in! I want a second opinion.” So he goes to the next town and sees another mechanic.
“Yep,” the second mechanic tells him, “Gremlins. Bad ones.”
“Scams! Rip-offs all of you! I tell you, I’ve always maintained this car perfectly! Your diagnosis is ridiculous!”
So he tries again, goes to the big city this time, to a renowned automotive specialist. The specialist examines the engine, hooks it up to a computer, and invites the salesman to his office for a chat.
“Don’t tell me it’s Gremlins, Doc! I know it’s not Gremlins!”
“Nope,” the specialist replies, “it’s hamsters. Your warranties have all run out.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke.
Key Elements:
- Character: An old spinster, defined by her supposed virginity and isolation.
- Premise: She has an itch “down there” and seeks medical advice.
- Twist: The initial diagnosis is crabs (pubic lice), seen as improbable for a virgin.
- Escalation: She seeks multiple opinions, each initially confirming the improbable diagnosis.
- Punchline: The final diagnosis is fruit flies, implying her virginity is so extreme that her “cherry” (a euphemism for hymen/virginity) has rotted. This is a darkly comedic and absurd take on prolonged abstinence.
- Humor: The humor comes from the unexpected shift from a common STD (crabs) to a bizarre, rotting fruit analogy, highlighting the absurdity of prolonged virginity and the crude humor of the situation.
Comedic Enrichment & New Joke:
Let’s leverage the “fruit” and “virginity” aspects.
Factual Tidbit: Did you know that some fruits, like peaches, plums, and cherries, are actually called “drupes”? The “drupe” part refers to the single, hard seed inside, which in the joke’s context, makes one think twice about the doctor’s diagnosis.
New Joke:
Why did the spinster start composting her undergarments?
Because she heard her cherry was ripening too fast and she thought the earthworms could help her with the itching!
Explanation:
This new joke takes the core themes of the original (old spinster, “cherry,” and an itchy problem) and adds a layer of dark humor by introducing composting as the way to deal with her itching problem. It is as absurd as the ending of the original joke while also leveraging the concept of “rotting” or “ripening” fruit in a funny way.