The first one said, SOUND is the fastest thing because if I yell out to you, you hear it instantly.
The second one said LIGHT is the fastest thing, because if I turn a light on, the room lights up instantly.
The third man said DIARRHEA. The other two looked at him oddly and said why Diarrhoea?
He said last night I had Diarrhoea and before I could yell out to someone, or flick the light on, I'd shit myself
Joke Poo: The Code Review
Three software engineers were debating what the most immediate feedback loop in programming was.
The first one said, “It’s definitely syntax errors. The compiler catches those instantly, highlighting the mistake as soon as you type it.”
The second one countered, “Nah, it’s unit tests. You run them and you know immediately if your changes broke something. That’s the fastest indicator you’re going wrong.”
The third one chimed in, “It’s production monitoring.”
The other two looked puzzled. “Production monitoring? How is that faster?”
He replied, “Last night I pushed some code to production and before I could even check the logs or see the error rate, I got an automated PagerDuty alert telling me the service was down.”
Alright, let’s get to the bottom of this joke, so to speak.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Three men in a pub are having a classic “fastest thing” debate. This establishes a familiar, comfortable scenario.
- Misdirection: The first two answers are logical and rooted in physics (sound and light), lulling the audience into a sense of scientific debate.
- Punchline: The third answer, “diarrhea,” is a complete non-sequitur, relying on the immediacy and unpleasantness of the experience. It subverts the established “scientific” framework with a crude, visceral reality. The explanation provides the necessary comedic shock value.
- Key Elements:
- Hyperbole: The implication that diarrhea is faster than light or sound.
- Crude Humor: Relies on the taboo and uncomfortable nature of bodily functions.
- Juxtaposition: Contrasting scientific concepts with a decidedly unscientific reality.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the light aspect of the original joke, since it’s the second-fastest thing brought up.
New Joke/Observation:
They say light is the fastest thing in the universe. But have you ever tried turning on a smart bulb while your Wi-Fi is buffering during an emergency? Suddenly, diarrhea doesn’t seem so far-fetched.
Why this works:
- Connects to the original: References the “light” element of the original joke.
- Modern Relatability: Taps into the modern frustration of unreliable technology, creating an instant connection with the audience.
- Subversion of Expectations (Again): We expect light to be fast. Our smart home devices often fail to deliver on that expectation, creating a mini-punchline.
- Call-Back: Includes a wink to the original joke by adding “diarrhea doesn’t seem so far-fetched,” to bring it full circle.
Essentially, we’ve taken a scientific element from the original joke (light) and used modern tech to set up another comedic failure. The contrast between the speed of light (a fundamental constant of the universe) and the sluggishness of a smart bulb is funny because it highlights the gap between expectation and reality.