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Three cougars

Posted on September 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Three cougars are in the locker room of their tennis club when, without a care in the world, a man walks by completely naked with a plastic bag over his head.

The first one looks at his dick and exclaims, “Ah, that’s definitely not my husband’s!”

“You can say that again,” adds the second.

And then the third chimes in: “He’s not even a member of the club!”

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the cougar joke:

Joke Poo: Three Tech Bros

Three tech bros are hanging out in the exclusive lounge of their Silicon Valley startup when a robot vacuum cleaner, splattered with mud and sporting a tiny, crudely drawn smiley face, zips past.

The first tech bro squints, examines the debris trail, and says, “Well, that certainly wasn’t designed using my AI algorithms!”

The second nods sagely. “No way. That pathfinding is clearly inferior.”

The third leans back and sighs, “And it’s definitely not running on the company Wi-Fi. It’s using Bluetooth!”

Alright, let’s break down this cougar joke:

Key Elements:

  • Cougars: Older women pursuing younger men. This is the core premise and the source of the humor.
  • Locker Room Setting: Suggests a casual, social environment where this sort of observation might occur (though the naked man is decidedly uncasual).
  • Naked Man with Bag: The unexpected, absurd element that draws attention to the man’s attributes while also obscuring his identity.
  • Observational Dialogue: The punchline relies on the women’s blatant objectification and ownership over the men in their lives, taken to a humorous extreme.

Humor Analysis:

The humor lies in:

  • Incongruity: The bizarre image of a naked man with a bag on his head is inherently funny. The cougars’ nonchalant reaction contrasts sharply with the absurdity of the situation.
  • Role Reversal: The women are being openly and shamelessly objectifying a man, a dynamic more traditionally associated with men judging women.
  • Exaggeration: The escalating punchlines (“not my husband’s,” “you can say that again,” “not even a member”) build upon each other, amplifying the humor.

Comedic Enrichment – Option 1: Witty Observation

Did you know that the term “cougar” is thought to have originated in British Columbia in the late 1990s? Which raises the question: were they discussing actual mountain lions, or just particularly predatory patrons of the local yoga studio? And did those yoga studios start requiring membership photos to preemptively resolve the “not even a member of the club” scenario?

Comedic Enrichment – Option 2: New Joke

Three silver foxes are chatting at their retirement home. A young woman in gym clothes jogs past.

The first silver fox winks: “Ah, she’s definitely not my granddaughter!”

The second chuckles: “You can say that again!”

The third sighs wistfully: “She’s not even on my health insurance!”

Comedic Enrichment – Option 3: Amusing ‘Did You Know’

Did you know that studies have shown that cougars actually prefer a mix of experience and youthful energy? It’s true! They’re looking for someone who can install a smart thermostat and still manage to change a tire in a snowstorm. So, young men, brush up on your home repair skills! You never know when it might come in handy – or get you a membership card.

The enrichment examples attempt to expand on the original joke’s themes: the objectification/ownership aspect, the age dynamic, and the setting.

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