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Category: Totally Feckin random

Little Johnny in English class

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Today's word of the day is 'contagious'," says the teacher. "Can anyone use the word "contagious" in a sentence?" Everyone remains still, until Little Johnny's hand goes up in the back of…

2 Huts In German Prisoner Of War Camp

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Commendant walks in and says " I have ze good news and ze bad news First ze good news, you all are getting a change of underpants. Now ze bad news…….

It is a tough economy

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Phil goes to his boss one day and says, “Sir, I’ll be honest. I know the economy isn’t great, but I’ve got three companies after me, and I’d like to ask for…

TIL that the Royal Navy has had 10 ships named HMS Beaver, and none of them sank

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

This means no Royal Navy sailor has ever gone down on a Beaver. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, playing off the same comedic structure: Joke Poo: The Compost Concern TIL that…

Weather service

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A small weather station far out in the Northern wilderness received a call from the National Weather Service: "Hi, this is from the National Weather Service. We seem to have lost connection…

What are Whitney Houston’s two favorite body parts?

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Hand eeeeeeeeeye!!! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your Whitney Houston joke, titled “Toilet Humor”: Joke Poo: Toilet Humor What are a plumber’s two least favorite parts of…

After 2 weeks at the front, a sergeant addresses his troops in the trenches

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Finally some good news, men – today you all get a change of underwear! Johnson, you change with Andrews. Wilson, you change with Smith…" Joke Poo: Potluck Panic After everyone signed up…

A woman called me ugly until she found out how much money I make.

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Now she's calling me ugly and poor. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap A farmer bragged about his prize-winning compost heap until he revealed how little actual…

Math class in an elementary school. The teacher asks little Johnny: “You have $200. You give $50 to Angela, $50 to Jessica, and $50 to Tammy. What do you have now? “

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Johnny: "An orgy." Joke Poo: Business Trip Blooper Setting: A corporate retreat, trust-building exercise. The facilitator, Brenda, asks Kevin: “You have a company credit card with a $200 limit. You expense…

A kid is playing a video game in his room when his mom walks in and says, “Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!”

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Without taking his eyes off the screen the kid says, "I'm right in the middle of this game; tell him to come in here!" A minute later her boyfriend walks in and…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.

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