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Category: Totally Feckin random

How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Carjacking Edit: these comments are elite, good job y’all Joke Poo: How does a constipated centipede get relief? …It takes a stool softener and logs out. Alright, let’s break down this joke…

I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I thought to myself, “that’s pretty racy” Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the NASCAR shorts joke, titled Joke Poo: Title: Joke Poo: Astronomical Misunderstanding I saw an…

As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Last night was crazy." I replied. "What happened?" he asked. "Me, my mate Steve and my mate Trevor all got very drunk," I replied. "And we ended up going back to Trevor's…

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Ground beef. Joke Poo: What do you call a cloud with no rain? Dry Humor. Alright, let’s dissect this bovine-based bon mot! Joke Analysis: Setup: “What do you call a cow with…

A joke for reddit

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers…

“Son, I found a condom in your room.”

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Hey, thanks, Grandpa!” “Why are you calling me Grandpa?” “Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.” Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” maintaining a similar structure and surprise related to the…

A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

"You get one wish," says the genie. The man thinks and says: "I’m scared of flying and boats. I wish for a bridge from California to Hawaii so I can drive there."…

On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was able to slice through the baby rabbits without any problem but found that the blade was not strong enough to force its way through the adult animals. After struggling for…

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the mood ring joke: Joke Poo: The Emotional Toilet…

I wanted to be a CEO

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

But I ended up in an entry-level job at the saltwater taffee factory. At least it's a sea sweet position. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: I Wanted To Be A Magician…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Not one person wished me a happy birthday yesterday.
  • Two cumulus clouds are up in the sky having a chat.
  • Kids today are so addicted to technology.
  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.

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