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Category: Totally Feckin random

My first day in prison…

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

I dropped the soap in the shower. A big inmate, with a cock like a python approached me. "Nice try, you ugly c#nt," he said and handed it back to me. Okay,…

My friend lives in a gated community, doesn’t pay for food or rent, has enough free time that he spends most of the day reading or exercising, and constantly surrounded by people trying to sleep with him

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Yet he complains non stop about how bad prison is. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the provided joke: Joke Poo: The Influencer’s Lament My sister lives in…

As soon as I got to the nude beach, I was reminded that today was trash pickup day…

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Everyone had their cans out Okay, I’ll play along and create a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke. Original Joke: As soon as I got to the nude beach, I was…

This week in Little Johnny’s English class

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

This week in Little Johnny’s English class, they were learning about punctuation. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, “Why are periods so important?” The teacher informed him and asked why he…

I was in a restuarant last night and was unhappy with my meal. So, I called the waiter over and said…

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Waiter, my soup is cold!" The waiter replied, "It's Gazpacho." So I said, " Gazpacho, my soup is cold!" Joke Poo: The Potting Mix I was in a garden center yesterday, unhappy…

Want to buy an unconditional mattress?

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

No springs attached. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” riff on the mattress joke, titled “Joke Poo”: Title: Wanna Buy a Used Diaper? It’s got… …absolutely no ifs, ands, or butts! Alright, let’s…

A movie just came out about the last fertile man being in grave danger.

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's called Saving Ryan's Privates. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the “Saving Ryan’s Privates” joke, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: The Last Roll A bakery just opened…

At my job we would mark our time “off” in a calendar with an event named, for example, “Robert Off”

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

This was fine until Jack needed to go on leave. Joke Poo: The Software Update At my software company, we named our update releases after the lead developer responsible, for example, “Version…

Why don’t cows give pink milk ?

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because that'd be udder nonsense. Joke Poo: Why don’t toilets sing opera? Because they’d have terrible plunders! Alright, let’s milk this joke for all it’s worth! Joke Dissection: Premise: Cows are commonly…

An insect flew up to me and whispered in my ear, “Brother, can you spare a dime?”

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Guess he was a bumblebee. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on your “Bumblebee Beggar” joke: Joke Poo: The Compost Confession A earthworm wriggled up to me in the garden and whispered…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt

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