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Category: Totally Feckin random

Did you hear about the German cannibal?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He loved eating Hamburgers Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, inspired by your original German Cannibal joke: Title: Joke Poo – The French Flora Enthusiast Did you hear about the French gardener?…

I’m trying to remember the 7 Deadly Sins

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I've got: Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Greed… …and I can't remember the last one. It's really pissing me off! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the 7…

My mom told me I was gaining weight. I said it’s for a role. She asked what role.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, ‘An emotionally damaged son who still answers your calls.’ Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: The Intern’s Burden My boss told me my performance was slipping lately. I…

She calls me apple

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

the way I be in cider. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version based on your original: Joke Poo: He Calls Me Potpourri He calls me potpourri the way I be, all dried…

My Dad says he changes his Facebook password from time to time

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I don't think he realises that they are the same words Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled "Database Disaster": Title: Database Disaster My boss says she rotates the…

Pirate joke I thought of in the shower

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Why couldn't the Captain set sail with his lass on their Maiden voyage?" *He didn't have enough seamen* Joke Poo: The Astronaut’s Launch "Why couldn’t the astronaut launch his new rocket on…

I used to date a woman who was a baroque music specialist. (true story)

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

She was a terrific singer, and also played the drum, lute, and traverso (a kind of baroque flute). Often she would be called for sessions where she had to sing and record…

When I was a kid, my dad helped me with my math homework every single day. It really showed me how much he loved me.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

It also explains why I kept failing math. Joke Poo: Potty Training Poo When my toddler was learning to use the potty, I gave him a sticker every time he went number…

Not trying to brag, but every time I go to the grocery store…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

The cashiers check me out. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke: Joke Poo: Not a Plumber Not trying to brag, but every time I eat asparagus… …the toilet checks…

My teacher told me that I’d be no good at poetry due to my dyslexia…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

but so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase. So Fuck you Mr. Peterson. Joke Poo: My therapist told me I’d never be a good comedian because of my crippling anxiety……

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
  • Do the laundry
  • A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
  • Three men are in an airplane. One is the pilot, the other two are a hippie and the someone self described as the world’s smartest man
  • Hi. What’s your name?
  • Guy goes to doctor about a sex addiction problem.
  • So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.
  • 1 in 4 people admit that they have texted while driving
  • Don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work?
  • I like to hibernate during the winter
  • 50 Cent started rapping in 1996
  • Timmy asks his Father how politics work
  • Teacher gift
  • What comes after a sextillion.
  • My son walked in with a rock in his hand
  • My child told me that I was an out of touch old fool.
  • An 89 year old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties.
  • The doctor says I have ADHD
  • A group of third, fourth and fifth graders
  • The secret to a conflictless marriage
  • There is something I don’t understand about 69
  • A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory
  • A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband with her in a wheelbarrow
  • When do horses eat the most?
  • Confucius say…
  • An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar…
  • What was the quiet pooper’s motto?
  • Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”
  • What US military branch is the most patriotic?

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