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Category: Totally Feckin random

My grandfather had the heart of a lion…

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Original Joke: My grandfather had the heart of a lion… and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Joke Poo: My Plumber’s Dilemma My plumber has…

Though nobody will be shaken by this, what I say next may cause a stir:

Posted on July 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

watching spy movies is the perfect bonding experience. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your premise: Joke Poo: Archaeological Discovery Though nobody will be shaken by this, what…

Have you heard of the guy who got a tattoo with map symbols and their meaning?

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

This guy is a legend! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original joke, titled “Toilet Map”: Original Joke: Have you heard of the guy who got a…

Interviewer: “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Guy: “Well, I’m your man. Everywhere I’ve worked, when something went wrong… they said I was responsible.” Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Poop Scooper Interview Interviewer: “We need someone who…

I had a small clock implanted in my brain.

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have been have second thoughts ever since. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: I Had a Small Calendar Imprinted on My Butt I’ve been having date-related anxieties ever since….

Tried in a hostile town

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

a man didn’t think he had any chance of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired, he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the…

“Look, a shooting star! Quick, make a wish!”

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

“I want to have a USB charging port instead of my bellybutton.” “Are you an idiot?” “Why?” “Everybody knows that if you say it out loud, it won’t come true.” Joke Poo:…

You know what they say about telling secrets in a corn maze…

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

It’s really best not to… after all, the walls have ears. Original Joke: You know what they say about telling secrets in a corn maze… It’s really best not to… after all,…

I hate mirrors

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're so ugly. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” take on “I hate mirrors. They’re so ugly.” Title: Joke Poo I avoid public restrooms… They’re always so judgmental. Okay, let’s analyze that joke….

It’s so hot out today,

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

I seen a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the bird and worm joke: Joke Poo: Retirement Home Shuffle…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…

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