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Category: Totally Feckin random

My non-binary friend is pregnant and they’re having a gender reveal party next week.

Posted on July 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

I can’t wait to find out if they’re gonna be a mummy or a daddy. Joke Poo: Original Joke: My non-binary friend is pregnant and they’re having a gender reveal party next…

Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Don't listen to that nonsense, sweetie. Now eat your soup before it clots." Original Joke: “Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!” “Don’t listen to that nonsense, sweetie. Now eat…

My ex was so greedy man it was unbelievable! You give her an inch

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She’ll say “I prefer 5 or 6”. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: My Boss is So Demanding! My boss is…

My friend and I make frequent conjugal visits to a women’s prison, to remind the inmates what it’s like to have a selfless guy go down on them.

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

I guess it just gives us some scents of perp puss. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original, aiming for a similar structure and a surprising/slightly dark…

A drunk guy is showing his mates his new apartment

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed. ​ "What's that gong for?" the friend asks him. ​ "It's not a gong," the drunk…

Environmentalists are concerned that drugs like antibiotics, steroids and even methamphetamines are getting into waterways and the oceans.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

You could end up swimming in a pharma sea. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your pharmaceutical pollution joke, with the title “Crypto Critters”: Title: Crypto Critters Tech…

There once was a man who did toilet-themed cosplay. He would dress up as the bowl. The tank. The plunger. Even the water. But he had his standards.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

…and he would not be deterred. Joke Poo: Circuit Short There once was a robot who specialized in outdated technology-themed cosplay. He would meticulously recreate the floppy disk drive, the dial-up modem,…

I don’t mean to brag but I need both hands for a wank.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

One on the magnifying glass and one on the tweezers. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original joke: Joke Poo: Gardener’s Dilemma I don’t mean to brag,…

If Count Von Count is a vampire who likes numbers, what do you call a vampire who likes words?

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

Count Vernacula Okay, I understand the task. Here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Professor Doody If Count Von Count is a vampire who likes numbers, what do you call a teacher who only…

A woman on a bus is suddenly overcome with the urge to break wind. She tries to let go a squeaker but instead lets loose a loud, disgusting blast.

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

The entire bus goes silent, and the embarrassed woman desperately tries to think of something to say to the man sitting next to her. "Um … do you have a transfer ticket?"…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work

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