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Category: Totally Feckin random

What did the porn star have for lunch?

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Five Guys! Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the “Porn Star’s Lunch” joke, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo What did the sewage worker order for takeout? … Three Dumps! Alright, let’s dive…

People are now talking about the missing minute from the security camera.

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Alot can happen in just a minute. Just ask Stormy Daniels. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version based on the original, titled accordingly: Joke Poo: People are now talking about the missing…

After disputing the area of my land my neighbour stole my posts and knocked down my wall

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

And I do take a fence to this Okay, here’s a joke inspired by your “fence” joke, keeping a similar structure and pun-based humor: Joke Poo: The Case of the Missing Canvases…

“What do you want for birthday?” My girlfriend asked

Posted on July 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Anal Sex." "Haha, nice try, tell me something I can buy for you." "Ok then, Anal sex with a prostitute." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original,…

I took one of those DNA tests to find out my ethnicity. After 2 weeks I got a reply.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dear Sir, Please stop mailing us your jizz. Thanks, 23andme Legal Team Joke Poo: I took one of those AI art prompt tests to see what kind of digital artist I’d be….

There’s an old army veteran living in the public toilets at my local park.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Apparently, he used to be a colonel, but now he's just a loo tenant. Okay, here’s a new joke based on your original, attempting to maintain a similar comedic structure and surprise…

I was getting a birthday card for my new girlfriend, and at my roommate’s suggestion I got one that was green.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He told me she must need a green card if she was willing to date me, so I hope this makes her happy! Joke Poo: The Internship I was getting a welcome…

Speedy the mascot for Alka-Seltzer ended his own life today by drowning himself in a bathtub

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

He left a note behind saying "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the Alka-Seltzer joke, titled “Joke Poo.”…

Wearing Crocs

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Why is wearing crocs like getting a blowjob from a man? it feels incredible, but then you look down and realize you're gay. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based…

I just bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands.

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Well, OK. The truth is that I took it off some little, fat, unathletic kid. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the joke: Joke Poo: My Life Coach’s Laptop I just…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A husband and wife are discussing their last wishes.
  • Cookies
  • There was once an old man who lived by a forest. As the years went on, his hair thinned until he was completely bald.On his deathbed, he told his children:
  • High school multiple choice exam (just Yes or No answers)
  • 3 Golf Balls
  • An elderly man lay on his deathbed An elderly man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a nurse. With a deep breath, he began speaking: “Bill, you get the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, the offices in the Center Center are yours.
  • If you can’t find the opposite of “remember”…
  • What do you call a small green Jedi in the alps?
  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.

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