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Category: Totally Feckin random

What do you call a fly without wings?

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A walk. Joke Poo: What do you call a shoe without laces? …Unlaced-inary! Alright, let’s analyze this joke and then spin it into something fresh. Joke Dissection: Setup: “What do you call…

A vegan told me….

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

….butchers selling meat are disgusting. I told him that selling fruit and vegetables was grocer. Joke Poo: Title: A Comedian Told Me… …that hecklers were the worst. I told him that people…

The chief walks by the detective who looks upset about his case and asks, “What’s wrong?”.

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"I've got no clue.", the detective responds. Joke Poo: The Beekeeper A beekeeper walks by his apprentice, who’s covered head-to-toe in stings and frantically swatting at the air. He asks, “What happened?…

I was asked to write three words that describe me, I wrote

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Lazy Okay, here’s the original joke and my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version, keeping a similar structure: Original Joke: I was asked to write three words that describe me, I wrote:…

What’s the spiciest thing to say to a man during sex?

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Cumin. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Stench of Salesmanship What’s the most aggressively enthusiastic thing to say to a customer browsing in a perfume shop?…

People who have othodontic appliances on their teeth disgust me.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Does that make me a bracist? Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled “Joke Poo”: Original Joke: People who have orthodontic appliances on their teeth disgust…

What do you call a buffalo with a big butt?

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tatonkadonk Okay, I can do that. Here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: What do you call a toilet that’s always complaining? Whine-a-pot Alright, let’s break down this magnificent beast of a joke: Original…

I don’t always bring good hotdogs to the cook out…

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

But I have brought worse! Brat wurst?? Get it? Happy 4th of July everyone Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” inspired by your hotdog/bratwurst joke: Joke Poo: I Don’t Always…

My dad always said, “Don’t waste your time on useless things that don’t give you returns.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

 So I unplugged his life support. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of that joke: Joke Poo: Performance Metrics My manager always said, “We need to optimize everything for maximum output, and…

I found a stone in the shape of a guitar pick

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

I used it to play rock music Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on the stone guitar pick joke, aiming for a similar structure and twist: Joke Poo: I Found a Feather…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • After a few years in America my dad got a job at this company. It paid well but every day he came home pissed. So I asked him, ‘If that job makes you so mad, why do you still work there?
  • Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
  • Why do Athenians hate waking up early?
  • What do “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” have in common?
  • A husband and wife are discussing their last wishes.
  • Cookies
  • There was once an old man who lived by a forest. As the years went on, his hair thinned until he was completely bald.On his deathbed, he told his children:
  • High school multiple choice exam (just Yes or No answers)
  • 3 Golf Balls
  • An elderly man lay on his deathbed An elderly man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a nurse. With a deep breath, he began speaking: “Bill, you get the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, the offices in the Center Center are yours.
  • If you can’t find the opposite of “remember”…
  • What do you call a small green Jedi in the alps?
  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus

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