I just spent a million dollars on a limousine-carried shipment of classic French impressionist paintings, but apparently it doesn’t include a driver Now I have all this Monet and nothing to chauffeur…
Category: Totally Feckin random
The Billionaires are producing TV shows based on their favorite childhood books…
Jeff Bezos loved Wheel of Time, so he made it happen. Bob Iger loves Catch-22, so he made it happen. Tim Cook loved Foundation, so he made it happen. Elon Musk loved…
Was in the carpark whilst out shopping today…
…when I saw someone had left a baby in their car. On it's own, in this heat, crying its eyes out. I did the responsible thing and picked up a rock. Took…
My grandad told me he’s never committed six of the seven deadly sins.
He’s just too lazy to tell us which ones." Okay, here’s my attempt at "Joke Poo," riffing on the original joke’s structure: Joke Poo: My Parrot’s Philosophy My parrot keeps squawking that…
I keep having to remind people that the plural of “octopus” is not “octopi”.
Boy, people can be such ignorami. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: I keep having to remind people that the collective noun for a group of pigeons is not a "flight". Boy,…
Marriage increases a man’s chances of becoming obese threefold, a new study finds.
That's because having sex burns a lot of calories. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Academic Paper Weight," inspired by the original joke: Title: Academic Paper Weight Publishing an…
They say that “money talks”.
Mine just waves goodbye. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: Wi-Fi Woes They say that "Wi-Fi connects people." Mine just buffers incessantly and then disappears in a puff of digital…
I once dated a girl who got arrested for scamming guys out of money on Instagram. I was so shocked.
I can’t believe she was talking to other guys. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" titled "Catfish Confessions" based on your original joke: Catfish Confessions I once befriended a celebrity…
Drunk Neighbour
Last night, my next-door neighbor came home drunk and banged on his own door for 5 minutes. The problem is… he lives alone. So I went outside and told him he wasn’t…
A retiree wobbled into an ice-cream shop and carefully climbed up onto a counter stool.
He wheezed for a minute, and then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.” Joke Poo: Title: Algorithm Aches A sentient Roomba, after years of…