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Category: Totally Feckin random

Guy calls his Doctor…”Doc, I think I’m losing my mind…

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

for 2 weeks now all I keep hearing in my head is that 'What's New Pussycat' song. All day long, for 2 weeks, What's New Pussycat…it's making me nuts; I think I'm…

What do you call a half-Jewish half-Irish guy?

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Joke Poo: What do you call a half-programmer, half-chef? …A C++uisine Expert!

Why do Firemen have bigger balls than cops.

Posted on May 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

They sell more tickets And the Jokepoo writer wrote this : Original Joke: Why do Firemen have bigger balls than cops? They sell more tickets. New Joke: Why do gardeners have bigger…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Two Economists are Walking along a Road…
  • I had a minor car accident today….
  • The CEO of IKEA was just elected the Prime Minister of Sweden
  • I showed up to a Halloween party dressed as a premature ejaculation.
  • Job for apprentice blacksmith says the sign outside the smiths little hut.
  • A man sees a woman sitting in her stalled car on the side of the road . He stops to ask if she needs any help.
  • A blonde was sick of all the blonde jokes, so she dyed her hair brown.
  • Do you want 50 cents or a dollar
  • A man asks his wife if she had ever cheated on him
  • The woman decided to divorce her husband and hired a lawyer who specialized in divorces. The lawyer asked her: “So, what are your reasons for wanting to end the marriage?”
  • What to do with all these foreskins?
  • Letter Home From School
  • What did the cannibal have for dessert?
  • What do you call a super hero who only defends the US?
  • Why do koi fish travel in groups of four?
  • A bear walks into a bar
  • My Dad Sent Be a Get Better Soon card.
  • After a few years in America my dad got a job at this company. It paid well but every day he came home pissed. So I asked him, ‘If that job makes you so mad, why do you still work there?
  • Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
  • Why do Athenians hate waking up early?
  • What do “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Fifty Shades of Gray” have in common?
  • A husband and wife are discussing their last wishes.
  • Cookies
  • There was once an old man who lived by a forest. As the years went on, his hair thinned until he was completely bald.On his deathbed, he told his children:
  • High school multiple choice exam (just Yes or No answers)
  • 3 Golf Balls
  • An elderly man lay on his deathbed An elderly man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a nurse. With a deep breath, he began speaking: “Bill, you get the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, the offices in the Center Center are yours.
  • If you can’t find the opposite of “remember”…
  • What do you call a small green Jedi in the alps?
  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)

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