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Category: Totally Feckin random

Martin Freeman and Mackenzie Crook are chatting, catching up on their lives after The Office.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Mackenzie: But I think the most fun I ever had filming was for Pirates of the Caribbean. Martin: Oh, I can imagine. Hanging out with Johhny Depp every day. Hanging out with…

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

I lost Interest in that relationship. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: Compost Crisis My neighbor borrowed a bag of my prize-winning compost…

A family takes a trip to Disney World.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

After seven exhausting days, they head home. As they drive away, the son waves out the window and says, “Goodbye, Mickey.” The daughter waves and says, “Goodbye, Minnie.” Dad waves and cries,…

The crop rotation program went terribly.

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

There's just not enough chlorophyll in the roots. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled “Data Rot”: Title: Data Rot The server migration went disastrously. There’s…

I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

“One day this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he is right . Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: The Motivational Speaker I listened…

What is an “ephebophile”?

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

A pedophile with a thesaurus. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: What is “Coprophilia”? A philosopher with a potty mouth. Alright, let’s dive…

Many mathematics majors enjoy BDSM, which makes sense…

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

After all, they're already fans of LaTeX and knots. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your math/BDSM joke: Joke Poo: Many Software Engineers enjoy gardening, which makes sense……

My therapist told me that getting over a breakup is worse than getting over a cocaine addiction.

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

So now I'm looking for some cocaine. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Garden Fertilizer My botanist told me that getting rid of a weed…

Old lady in the wind

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

In the middle of a fierce windstorm today, I walked by an old lady. She was using both hands to hold a hat on her head. I noticed her dress was also…

The police department has a Crime Division.

Posted on August 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I wonder what all the other divisions are doing. Joke Poo: Plumbing Division The city’s public works department has a Plumbing Division. I wonder what the leak of the other divisions are….

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer

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