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Two hunters are out in the woods

Posted on July 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?

Joke Poo: The Board Meeting

Two corporate executives are in a crucial board meeting when one of them suddenly slumps over, unresponsive. He appears lifeless, eyes fixed blankly ahead. The other executive, panicked, fumbles for his phone and dials the company’s HR department. He cries, “My colleague is dead! What do I do? This merger is riding on this!” The HR rep replies, “Sir, please remain calm. I can guide you. First, let’s confirm he’s actually…departed.” There’s a long, tense silence. Then, a loud stamp sound echoes through the phone. Back on the line, the executive says, “Okay, I’ve updated his performance review to ‘Unsatisfactory.’ Now what?”

Alright, let’s break down this hunter joke:

Core Elements:

  • Premise: Two hunters in the woods, one collapses.
  • Crisis: The hunter appears dead.
  • Setup: Desperate call to emergency services for help.
  • Punchline: Emergency operator’s unintentionally ambiguous instruction, leading to a darkly humorous, violent misinterpretation.
  • Humor Type: Dark humor, situational irony, character stupidity.

Analysis: The joke’s humor comes from the absurd misunderstanding caused by the operator’s pragmatic (but poorly worded) instruction. The listener anticipates helpful first aid advice, but instead gets a confirmation of death in the most brutal way possible.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor Creation:

Let’s focus on the “emergency services” aspect and the potential for miscommunication, drawing on real-world facts:

Fact: 911 operators receive extensive training on handling emergency calls, including protocols for assessing situations and providing guidance without physically being present. They rely heavily on clear and unambiguous communication. However, stress, background noise, and the caller’s emotional state can severely hamper understanding.

New Humor:

Observation: You know, I’ve been thinking about that hunter joke. It’s hilarious, right? But it also highlights a genuine anxiety we all have with emergency services. We hope they are super-efficient, calmly relaying life-saving advice. But deep down, we all suspect some operator somewhere is just waiting for their coffee to kick in before diagnosing our appendicitis over the phone.

New Joke:

A woman calls 911, hysterical. “My husband! He’s not breathing! I think he’s gone!” The operator calmly replies, “Okay, ma’am, calm down. First, tell me, is there any chance he’s just really engrossed in whatever he’s watching on television? You know, like a nature documentary… about hibernation?”

“Did You Know” (with a humorous twist):

Did you know that 911 operators are trained to ask about the victim’s age and any pre-existing conditions before giving medical advice? It’s because recommending CPR to a 90-year-old with severe osteoporosis might actually create more emergencies. It’s all about risk assessment… unless you’re the hunter with the glazed-over friend, in which case, risk assessment seems to involve checking his pulse with a shotgun.

The humor in these new pieces builds off the original joke by:

  • Playing on the fallibility of emergency services: Acknowledging both their training and the potential for human error or misjudgment.
  • Expanding the scope of the joke: Moving beyond the specific scenario of hunters and applying the anxiety of miscommunication to broader situations.
  • Using relatable references: Drawing upon commonly held experiences and stereotypes (e.g., husbands engrossed in TV, fear of medical misdiagnosis).

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