Two nuns are painting an office at the rectory on a hot summer day. One says to the other, we should take off our habits so as to not get paint on them. So both nuns are painting the room in the nude when they hear a knock on the door. Flustered, one says, "Who is it?" followed by a man's voice saying, "Blind man." Figuring the man wouldn't see anything, they open the door. The man walks in and says, "Nice tits ladies. Now, where do you want me to install these blinds?"
Joke Poo: Two Baristas
Two baristas are deep-cleaning a coffee shop late at night. One says to the other, “We should probably take off our aprons, they’re already covered in coffee grounds and we’re about to use bleach.” So, both baristas are scrubbing the floor in their underwear when they hear a pounding on the door.
Flustered, one whispers, “Who is it?”
A gruff voice replies, “Health Inspector.”
Panicked, they figure he wouldn’t expect them to be fully dressed at this hour. They crack the door open a sliver.
The Health Inspector barges in, takes one look around, and sighs, “Nice underwear, ladies. Now, where do you want me to dock you for improper sanitary practices?”
Alright, let’s dissect this nun-believable joke!
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: Two nuns, placed in a slightly absurd situation (painting an office in a rectory), encounter a relatable problem (protecting their habits from paint). The heat adds to the perceived reasonableness of their decision.
- Twist: They remove their habits and are painting naked.
- Punchline: The blind man’s apparent “sight” and the shift from the expected reaction (shock, embarrassment) to the pragmatism of his job (“Now, where do you want me to install these blinds?”) creates the humor. It’s unexpected and relies on a double meaning of “blinds.”
- Key Elements:
- Nuns: Representing piety, modesty, and often perceived innocence.
- Blind Man: Represents physical impairment and potential for awkward encounters.
- Habits: Symbolic clothing, tied to their religious identity and a perceived expectation of modesty.
- The Double Meaning of “Blinds”: The word functions as a literal object, and a way of shielding.
Humorous Enrichment:
Here are a few ways to riff off of this joke, incorporating factual tidbits or further comedic layers:
1. The Observational “Did You Know” (related to Religious Orders and Art):
Did you know many religious orders, particularly Benedictine monks and nuns, historically produced exquisite illuminated manuscripts? They were essentially the Renaissance’s digital artists, meticulously painting and illustrating texts with gold leaf and vibrant pigments. So, if those nuns in the joke had been painting a manuscript instead of the rectory office, at least they would’ve been in their area of expertise! They also probably would be a little less prone to removing their habits, since the work itself requires care and a controlled environment for the materials.
2. The Meta-Joke (playing with comedic structure and blind spots):
A blind man walks into a rectory office being painted by two nuns in their birthday suits. He says, “Nice tits, ladies. Now, where do you want me to install these blinds?”
The nuns are shocked. One asks, “How could you possibly see us?”
The blind man sighs, “Look, I’m in every nun-based joke. My only role is to deliver a sight gag. The writer hasn’t given me any actual backstory. I may as well do my job, get paid by the punchline, and hope for better representation in the next iteration.”
3. The Absurdist Continuation (exploring the chaotic aftermath):
The man’s question hung in the air. One nun, Sister Agnes, stammered, “Well, uh, by the window…obviously.”
The blind man starts pulling Venetian blinds from his bag as another knock sounds. This time, it’s the local Bishop with the archdiocese’s representative for safe working conditions, Sister Mary Francis. Upon seeing the scene, Sister Mary Francis drops her clipboard, screaming, “Oh my God! Sister Agnes, what have you done?!”
The Bishop calmly says, “It’s alright, Sister. This is a teaching moment. Sister Agnes, clearly, you weren’t thinking of the sun’s harmful UV rays, which can really damage unfurnished walls. That’s why she installed the blinds. This is a story of safety, responsibility, and good Catholic charity toward those less fortunate, who are simply here to install some blinds.” The Bishop then adds to the Blind Man: “Now, my son, the office needs painting. I will arrange for you to return here the next time that painting occurs. I would suggest you get in touch with the contractor about installing blinds, immediately after.”
Why these work:
- “Did you know” leverages the joke’s religious context, adding an educational, yet humorous, layer.
- Meta-Joke: Acknowledges and subverts the predictable nature of the punchline, creating humor from self-awareness.
- Absurdist Continuation: Extends the absurdity of the situation, exploring the potential consequences and compounding the awkwardness with new characters and reactions.
The key to enriching humor is to amplify the absurdity or unexpectedness while maintaining a connection to the original elements. Enjoy!