On their honeymoon night, the groom says “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His bride replies “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
On their 10th Anniversary he says to her “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His wife replies “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
On their 25th Anniversary he says to her “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His wife replies “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
On their 50th Anniversary he says to her “I would really like it if you sucked my dick.” His wife replied “Oh boy… well… we’ve been together so long now… so ok, I’ll do it.”
The next morning as they’re having breakfast, the phone rings. The husband says
“Answer the phone…………. cocksucker.”
Joke Poo: The Boardroom Merger
Two ambitious corporations, known for their ultra-conservative business practices, decided to merge.
At the celebratory dinner after the deal closed, the CEO of Corporation A leans across the table to the CEO of Corporation B and whispers, “I’d really like it if you slashed your profit margin.” The other CEO replies, “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
Ten years later, at a strategy meeting, the CEO of the now-merged company says to the other, “I’d really like it if you slashed your profit margin.” The other CEO replies, “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
Twenty-five years later, at their retirement party, the CEO of the company says to the other, “I’d really like it if you slashed your profit margin.” The other CEO replies, “Heavens no, I couldn’t do that, because you wouldn’t respect me in the morning.”
Fifty years later, after being revived through cryogenics, the CEO of the company says to the other, “I’d really like it if you slashed your profit margin.” The other CEO replies, “Oh boy… well… we’ve been frozen together so long now… so ok, I’ll do it.”
The next morning, as they’re reviewing the company’s Q1 earnings report, the phone rings. The CEO picks up the phone and says, “Put her on speakerphone… loss-leader.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then cook up something new!
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: Two devout teenagers get married. The setup establishes a specific expectation of innocence, religious conservatism, and perhaps a somewhat traditional marriage dynamic.
- Central Conflict: The husband’s persistent, explicit request clashes sharply with the wife’s repeated refusal, justified by concerns about respect. This creates a recurring tension based on differing values and desires.
- Humor: The humor stems from a few sources:
- The Repetition: The recurring dialogue highlights the husband’s unchanging desire and the wife’s unwavering stance, escalating the absurdity.
- The Unexpected Resolution: After decades, the wife relents, creating a surprise twist after the established pattern.
- The Punchline: The husband’s final line is the core of the joke. It’s a shocking and darkly funny betrayal of the supposed respect the wife sought, subverting all expectations and revealing a cynical undercurrent to their relationship. It reveals the husband was never concerned with respecting her.
Key Elements:
- Religion/Devoutness: Plays on perceived conservative values.
- Marriage: The long-term nature of the institution is crucial to the build-up.
- Respect: The wife’s stated reason is the key to the comedic tension.
- Sexual Innuendo: The explicit request, though indirect, is central.
- Cynicism: Undermining the romantic idea of long term marriage.
Comedic Enrichment – Observational Humor & “Did You Know”:
Now, let’s leverage these elements. Instead of a new joke, let’s create a witty observation tied to a relevant fact:
Witty Observation:
“You know, that joke about the long-married couple reminds me: People often say ‘respect is earned,’ but in some marriages, it seems like the only way to get it is to wait 50 years and then perform a specific, ahem, act. I think some couples would have divorced way before that and just paid the cleaning lady.”
“Did You Know?” fact:
“Did you know that the average lifespan of a marriage ending in divorce in the United States is only around 8 years? So, that husband in the joke was playing the long, long game. Either that, or he was hoping for a really generous inheritance clause.”
Explanation of Enrichment:
The Observation directly riffs on the punchline, highlighting the absurdity of the implied condition for respect.
The “Did You Know?” fact adds another layer of irony. The fact of the average marriage length juxtaposes with the 50-year commitment in the joke, further emphasizing the unlikely, almost unbelievable nature of the scenario. It invites the audience to consider the implausibility of the characters’ situation and the dark humor within.