U.S. Open

Joke Poo: Comic Con

I snagged a primo spot right in front of the main stage at Comic Con, ready for the Marvel panel. But for the entire first hour, the seat beside me was empty. I saw the guy next to that seat put his backpack on it, so I leaned over and asked, “Is your buddy stuck in the merch line, waiting to get autographs?”

He replied, “No, it’s my wife’s seat.”

I said, “She couldn’t make it?”

He said, “No, she died.”

I said, “Oh geez, I’m so sorry to hear that! Couldn’t any of her friends come and use the ticket?”

He said, “No, they’re all at her funeral… and she wanted to be buried in her full Gamora cosplay.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke like a John McEnroe tantrum aimed at a linesman.

Joke Deconstruction:

• Setup: The joke hinges on a situational irony at the U.S. Open Men’s Singles Finals, a high-profile event where getting a good seat is highly valued. The protagonist observes an empty seat and makes an assumption based on the usual reasons for empty seats at such an event (someone in the security line).
• Twist: The reason for the empty seat is unexpectedly dark and morbid. The escalation from “security line” to “death” is the primary source of humor.
• Punchline: The repeated questioning and the implication that the man should have found someone to fill the dead wife’s seat, despite her funeral, creates a dark and absurd scenario. The humor relies on the protagonist’s social ineptitude and insensitivity, contrasted against the very serious subject of grief.

Key Elements:

• U.S. Open: The setting is crucial. It establishes the context of a prized event and expensive tickets.
• Empty Seat: The central object of the joke, acting as a trigger for the escalating series of questions.
• Death/Funeral: The unexpected and increasingly morbid explanation for the empty seat.
• Insensitivity: The protagonist’s clueless persistence and lack of empathy.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Let’s leverage these elements to create a new humorous bit, focusing on the ‘Did you know?’ format, playing on the history of tennis superstitions and absurd dedication:

“Did you know?”

“During the early days of Wimbledon, players were so superstitious about their lucky seats, even their opponents’ misfortune was seen as a favorable omen. There’s a documented case from 1907 where a player whose opponent’s own mother passed away the morning of their match insisted on using her now-empty seat in the player’s box for ‘optimal viewing angles.’ When asked about the apparent lack of sensitivity, he reportedly said, ‘It’s not like she was using the seat during the match.'”

OR, a related observation:

“You know, attending a U.S. Open is one of the few situations in life where someone saying ‘my wife died’ isn’t the worst possible reason they can’t share their snacks.”

Why this works:

• Connects to Original Joke: It draws a parallel to the insensitive protagonist of the original joke by highlighting historical attitudes regarding tennis “fate”.
• Leverages “Did you know?” format: It presents a seemingly factual snippet, masking the absurdity.
• Dark Humor: The humor is derived from the juxtaposition of trivial concerns (optimal viewing angles) with a serious event (death).
• Expands on Original Theme: It further satirizes the obsession with tennis and the often-selfish behavior that can manifest at sporting events.

In summary, the joke is funny because it uses an unexpected and inappropriate tragedy to subvert the protagonist’s selfish request.