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Category: Walks into a bar

What did the shoelace say when it became untied?

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Knot again! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," titled "The Plumber’s Lament": The Plumber’s Lament What did the toilet say when it overflowed and started spewing sewage? …Oh, crap! Knot…

An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar.

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors here." Original Joke: An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors…

A cattle station owner

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A cattle Station owner was having a drink at a bar in a pub in the Northern Territory, Australia. A Yank walked in and started bragging. "Ah come from Texas," he said,…

Bar patrons hear a car screeching to a halt, and moments later a panicking man enters and shouts “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Someone speaks up, “Well… from 30 cm up to around one meter…” “Oh noooo! I hit a nun!” Joke Poo: Title: Boardroom Boo-Boo Board members sit around a large table when suddenly…

Two seventy-year-old friends meet one has a girlfriend in her 20’s

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

They all go to get a bite. When the 20-something girlfriend excuses herself to use the bathroom, The first one has to ask, "I'm so impressed! How did you land such a…

A thesaurus walks into a bar…

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A thesaurus strolls into a bar. A thesaurus ambles into a bar. A thesaurus strides into a bar. A thesaurus steps into a bar. A thesaurus jogs into a bar. A thesaurus…

A guy goes into a bar where he meets a pair of beautiful conjoined twins who are joined at the side. They hit it off and proceed to booze the night away.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Closing time comes around and they decide to take the party back to his house. He gets in the door and the twins immediately drop and one starts blowing him while the…

What did the pickle say to the cucumber?

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Come on in, the water’s brine. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the pickle joke: Joke Poo: The Email’s Lament What did the unread email say to the…

The perch problem

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective,"…

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The clerk says, "Absolutely not, we're very respectful of the Jewish community." Joke Poo: A Programmer’s Predicament A programmer walks into a therapist’s office and asks, "Do you have any debugging techniques…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.

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