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Category: Walks into a bar

An Australian, an American and a British man are on a golfcourse…

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing. 'Terribly sorry,' says the Brit but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe…

A gnome, a leprechaun, and a dwarf walk into a bar…

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender grinned as they each climbed up on the bar and formed a line. "What is this?" He asked. "Some kind of joke?" The gnome jumped, slugged him on the chin,…

What did the male deer say after leaving the gay bar?

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I can’t believe I blew 20 bucks in there. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” keeping the structure and surprise of the original: Joke Poo: What Did the Gardener Say…

A man goes into a bar

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

He orders 8 beers and has them lined up on th e bar. He drinks the 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th beer. Barman asks if he okay? Guy replies , Yes mate….

A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Every evening, she goes to the bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says…

What does a German order in a cocktail bar?

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Gin and Teutonic. Joke Poo: Title: Stool Sample Joke: What does a microbiologist order at a coffee shop? A fecal latte. Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then spice it up! Joke…

Aliens are invading Earth and humanity’s fate resides in telling them ONE original joke

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Alien Commander: “Humans! After centuries of observation, we’ve concluded that humor is the highest form of intelligence. Judging by your endless reposts on r/Jokes… your species has failed. Total eradication begins unless…

A man walks into a bar for a drink.

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender hands him a shot and says, "That's the Spirit!". Okay, here’s my attempt at "Joke Poo" based on your prompt: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap A gardener is meticulously tending…

Dad’s comeback!

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he’s 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching…

A Duck walks into a pub..

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hops on to the bar stool and says to the bartender “Pint please mate!” The barman looks at him in utter shock. “But you’re a duck how are you tal..” The…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?

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