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Category: Walks into a bar

A man goes into a bar.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

He gets a drink, and spots a pretty woman further down the bar. He walks over and offers to buy her a drink. She accepts, and they spend the evening chatting. He…

So this guy who’s lived his whole life in the city begins to feel drawn towards the great outdoors by what he’s been seeing on TNN and other cable networks… (this one’s really long – but I like it)

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Specifically, it's hunting that has him fascinated and after a couple years of watching every sort of hunting show he can find, every chance he gets, he decides that no matter what,…

An older gentleman man driving an old beat up truck gets into a fender bender with CEO’s Ferrari.

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

The CEO gets out of the car, examines the damage and decides to bully the old man. "Hey old geezer that damage is gonna cost $50k to fix. Either you give me…

A guy and his dog walk into a bar

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t allow dogs in here.” The guy tells him, “This is no ordinary dog. This dog can TALK!” The bartender rolls his eyes, so the man says,…

The pet centipede

Posted on August 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy walks into a pet shop and says, “I’m looking for a really unique pet, something no one else has.” The shopkeeper grins and says, “I’ve got just the thing,” and…

An oldies but a goodie. Also known as #829

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

A big-game hunter comes intae a wee inn in the Highlands, an’ he says tae the barman, “Laddie, I’ve hunted lions, tigers, an’ elephants. Whit beast hae ye got in Scotland for…

A Roman centurion walks into a bar and orders a Martinus

Posted on August 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The barman, confused, inquires: "Perhaps you meant to say Martini?" The centurion responds begrudgingly: "Surely, if I wanted 2 drinks I would have said so" Joke Poo: A Martian Walks In A…

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are drinking in a pest-ridden bar

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

By an amazing coincidence, three flies simultaneously plunge into each of their drinks. The Englishman, disgusted, throws his drink away. The Scotsman reaches into his drink, fishes out the fly, and throws…

I’m sharing this advice because it worked for me.

Posted on August 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our…

Running into stationary objects is quite painful

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

….according to a local pole. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the provided joke, titled “Falling Standards”: Original Joke: Running into stationary objects is quite painful… according to…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?

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