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Category: Walks into a bar

So a gorilla walks into a bar …

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sits down and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a pint, and says, "That'll be $10." The gorilla pays, and starts drinking. The bartender says, "You know, we don't get…

A Russian walks into a bar and orders 3 double vodkas

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" "My son started wearing an I Stand With Putin t-shirt. Since then, he's been beaten, spat at, and had bottles thrown at him several times." The bartender…

A man walks into a bar…

Posted on June 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death." The bartender…

A Stoner finds a dirty old lantern and gives is a rub when suddenly a Genie appears out of the lantern.

Posted on June 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Stoner is surprised when the Genie thanks him for releasing him and says “I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish”. The Stoner says “I wish me and…

A traveller once visited a small village in the countryside.

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

At the local bar, someone asked him if he was married. "I'm divorced, actually. Never could find a woman I didn't end up fighting with all the time," he replied. The local…

A Scotsman Walks Into A Bar While On Holiday In Canada

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

And he says to the barman ‘What is that thing there that you’ve got hanging from the wall?’ And the Canadian behind the bar says ‘That right there sir, is our prized…

A man with two black eyes walks into a bar

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

And asks the bartender for a strong drink. As he's making the drink, the bartender asks the man what happened. "It was my wife's birthday yesterday, and I told her I bought…

An man from Alabama, his sister, his mother and his wife walk into a bar.

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Both of them order a beer. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" take on the original: Joke Poo: The Potluck Predicament An AI chatbot, its training dataset, its sentiment analysis module, and its…

A Texan on vacation in Ireland

Posted on June 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

was invited by his Irish friend over to his farm. Texan: “How big is your farm?” Irishman: “About 25 acres” Texan: “My ranch is just a little bigger” he says tongue in…

A man was sitting at the bar looking dejectedly into his bottle of beer.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

“You look pretty down,” said the guy on the next stool. “Wanna talk about it?” “I dunno,” sighed the first man. “It’s just that this time last year I had a fantastic…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Kids today are so addicted to technology.
  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.

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