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Category: Walks into a bar

Guy walks into a restaurant with his emotional support alligator

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

The hostess is shocked, but before she can say anything, he asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?” She stammers a bit and says, “Yes, we serve lawyers” So the guy says, “I’ll…

What is Vlad the Impaler’s favorite joke?

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

So a bar goes into this guy… Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” playing on the absurdity and morbid humor of the original: Joke Poo: What’s a Dung Beetle’s Favorite…

Man walks into a vet with his bird and says, “Is my bird dead?”

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Vet looks over the bird and says, "Yep, your bird is dead." The man, distraught, begs for a second opinion. Vet shrugs and says, "Sure. If you insist." The vet brings in…

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars". The man replies, "Who said anything about money?" A lawyer…

A guy shout to bartender: “Quick, give me double shot of whiskey, and hurry up, till it starts!”

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Astonished bartender obey, guy downs whiskey and shout: "Seems it not started yet, give me another double shot!" Barmen complies, guy drinks and barmen say to him: "Dunno what have to start,…

A calvinist walks into a bar

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and greets another man. They are talking and one man says that he is a calvinist. The other punches him in the face repeatedly. The first…

a pirate walks into a bar

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

the bartender notices he has a peg for a leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye the bartender pours him a beer and asks, “what’s the story…

[Graphic] The bartender and the back room

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A friend of mine told me this joke many many years ago in Sicily. There was a small bar in a small town in Sicily where a few older men spent their…

A guy walks into a bar with a talking dog. He bets $100 the dog can answer questions.

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

“What’s on top of a house?” — “Roof!” “How does sandpaper feel?” — “Rough!” “Who’s the greatest baseball player?” — “Ruth!” The bartender kicks them out. Outside, the dog looks at the…

A Christian, Jew, Muslim and Hindu walk into a bar…

Posted on August 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Hindu says, “Um, I think I’m in the wrong joke.” Okay, I’ll take that joke and run with it. Here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Programmers’ Dilemma Four programmers, one proficient in…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.

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