"I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help." A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself. "I overheard your…
Category: Walks into a bar
Hunter Killer, Red October, Crimson Tide, and Das Boot walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of subtext?" Das Boot orders a beer, but insists it must be authentic, unfiltered, and served under immense psychological pressure. Crimson Tide…
My late grandfather’s favorite joke. A man is in an insane asylum…
A man is in an insane asylum and is assessed by a doctor for release. All the staff says he's totally fine to be returned to normal life, and this is his…
Two guys are at a bar arguing about which letter is the most important in the alphabet
The first one says, “It’s obviously E. It’s in almost every word. Without it you can’t spell.” The second one says, “It’s L, no contest.” The first guy scoffs, “Nah dude, L…
Four Catholic men and one Catholic woman were chatting over coffee.
The first man says proudly, “My son’s a priest. When he walks into a room, people greet him with, ‘Hello, Father.’” The second says, “That’s nice. My son’s a Bishop—folks call him…
Grasshopper
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender asks; "What'll you have?" Grasshopper thinks a moment and says; "Whiskey sour, please." Bartender smiles and says; "I would have thought you'd want…
A penguin walks into a bar…
A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Got any fish?" The bartender says no and the penguin leaves. Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender…
A computer engineer is tasked with opening a bar.
He gets everything sets up. Goes through this QA auditing. He orders a beer. He orders two beers. He orders ten beers. He orders -1 beers. He orders an imaginary beer. He…
3 guys
Killed in a car crash on Christmas Eve. St. Pete says “OK, it’s Christmas if you can make anything in your pockets relate to Christmas I’ll let you in”. First guy strikes…
A man is sitting in a bar.
One table over sits a lonely woman. "She’s unbelievably pretty!" the man thinks. "I’d love to talk to her… but what should I say? I’m so damn shy that I just blurt…