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Category: Walks into a bar

A lovely Czechoslovakian-born British woman approached a pawnbroker at a local mall.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said to him in almost perfect English, "Please, I am looking for one night stand." Liking her accent, the man closed his shop, and they both went to a bar for…

Be careful what you offer…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man meets a prostitute in a bar. She tells him, “For £300, I’ll do absolutely anything you want — but you have to say it in just three words.” He hands…

Guy walks into a bar with his emotional support alligator

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says they only allow service animals, not emotional support animals wearing a $25 yellow vest you can buy on Etsy. On top of that, it’s dangerous to others. So the…

A new neighbor moves into the largest house on the street.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

John, The un-official "Head" of the neighborhood, goes over to great the new guy. "Hello there, friend, I'm John. What's your name?" He asks. "My name's Alex. Pleased to meet you, John."…

A guy walks into a bar and freezes when he sees a horse behind the counter

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suddenly the horse actually talks and says "You seem surprised?" And the guy says "I am. Did the cow sell the place?" Joke Poo: The Compost Crisis A farmer walks into his…

What did the shoelace say when it became untied?

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Knot again! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," titled "The Plumber’s Lament": The Plumber’s Lament What did the toilet say when it overflowed and started spewing sewage? …Oh, crap! Knot…

An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar.

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors here." Original Joke: An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors…

A cattle station owner

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A cattle Station owner was having a drink at a bar in a pub in the Northern Territory, Australia. A Yank walked in and started bragging. "Ah come from Texas," he said,…

Bar patrons hear a car screeching to a halt, and moments later a panicking man enters and shouts “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Someone speaks up, “Well… from 30 cm up to around one meter…” “Oh noooo! I hit a nun!” Joke Poo: Title: Boardroom Boo-Boo Board members sit around a large table when suddenly…

Two seventy-year-old friends meet one has a girlfriend in her 20’s

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

They all go to get a bite. When the 20-something girlfriend excuses herself to use the bathroom, The first one has to ask, "I'm so impressed! How did you land such a…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I have sex 24/7
  • I’m a corn, not a man!
  • A scoutmaster was teaching his scouts about survival.
  • The pet store
  • The pull-apart tart
  • My sister tells people she turned vegan for love
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  • What board game will narcissists NEVER play?
  • I just read in the news that Ben Grimm is leaving the Fantastic 4
  • I invented a thought-controlled air freshener.
  • I’m reading a horror in braille, and tbh I’m terrified…
  • Today I seen….
  • A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and they order drinks.
  • I sat next to this South African woman on a plane and we really hit it off. We spent the whole flight chatting in her native Xhosa language.
  • The dry cleaner.
  • I told a joke this morning in a Zoom meeting. No one laughed.
  • There once was a woman with 100 children.
  • I watched 50 Cent play half a round of golf.
  • Not one person wished me a happy birthday yesterday.
  • Two cumulus clouds are up in the sky having a chat.
  • Kids today are so addicted to technology.
  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?

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